As more and more teachers in the area of negotiation and dispute resolution consider taking their courses (or, parts of them) online, I’ve received many queries of the “How do you get started?” variety. And, I’m not the only one fielding these questions. I'd like to share a resource, addressing these questions.…

Dear Farmer Brown:

The barn is very cold at night. We'd like electric blankets.

Sincerely.

The Cows.

This is what happens when a bunch of cows find an old typewriter in their barn - they write a grievance letter to direct Farmer Brown's attention to their living conditions.

"No way" says Farmer…

The perspective on conflict that the transformative model provides can come in handy when dealing with one's own clients. In this blog , Michelle Zaremba talks about using these insights in talking to her 5-year-old son.

I, along with most of the world, am fascinated with the missing jet, MH 370. With all the technology, GPS capabilities, and radar, it still took weeks for authorities to find debris from the jet--another reminder that the world is much, much bigger than we think.

In the midst of the search, hundreds of families seem to be getting angrier by the day, wondering if the airlines are being forthright and honest with them regarding their missing loved ones.…

The other day a friend – I’ll call her Jane – was telling me about an ongoing dispute she was having with a co-worker. She complained about the way her colleague Ted acts, looks, talks, and just about everything else. Clearly, their interactions had deteriorated over time and their current communications are mostly through others, i.e. “Tell Ted that I need the report by 3:00” and Ted’s response, “Tell her she’ll get it when I’m finished it”.

Through the course of conveying this…

Recently, I was mediating a case (marital mediation – kind of like couple’s therapy but more concrete and faster). The issue seemed to begin with an over-indulgence in porn. Many people don’t realize, but when you have an orgasm, your brain dumps chemicals into your system making you attach to the object of your sexual encounter. Could be an actual person, or it could be that anonymous stranger sex depicted with a video camera – two dimensionally.

So now, what turns you on is Girls…

Bruce A. Friedman, Esq. Joins JAMS in Santa Monica

April 2, 2014

SANTA MONICA – JAMS, the largest private provider of mediation and arbitration services worldwide, today announced the addition of Bruce A. Friedman, Esq. to its panel. Mr. Friedman will be based in the JAMS Santa Monica Resolution Center. He will serve as a mediator, arbitrator and special master in a variety of disputes including Business/Commercial,

Class…

Join Founding Host Pattie Porter and Hosts Zena Zumeta and Stephen Kotev as we celebrate and honor the many guests during our 200th Episode. This is our 5 year anniversary of…

As a finale to our month of focus on “Listening to SRLs and including them as stakeholders”, I want to explore a legal culture that enables and tolerates judges treating SRLs rudely and discourteously.

I do not mean to suggest that all judges behave this way. There are honorable exceptions and I hope they will take some support from this blog post.

For example, I did not notice any Supreme Court justices sniggering behind their hands at…

"What's Happening in Conflict Resolution" is a weekly round up of the all the ADR news, jobs, events and more. Check it out each week and view past versions [HERE].

The month of April is "Crisis Negotiation Month" at ADRhub.com.  It is a collaboration…

It's so interesting. When I start a mediation, I often ask parties to visualize the future - asking them to think beyond their conflict and imagine what things could be like.

They tell me wonderful things like how it would feel to get beyond where they are, what they want for their children, how they want to save money by avoiding long, drawn out legal battles and much more.

Then, we start the mediation and I am sometimes amazed at how quickly they forget what they have said.…

NDR, ADR and CONF people:

If you're still into growing in the area of negotiation, you're going to want to read this article by John Lande of the University of Missouri School of Law. It's long, but you'll figure out which parts to read once you start. You'll be glad you read it.

You can download the full-text article here: …

I just read a really interesting article about mediation "styles." You know the ones: facilitative, evaluative, and transformative.

Me? I was trained in facilitative mediation, but have always wondered about the others because, frankly, I've never been one to stick to one "theory" or "style." I prefer to mix-and-match theories, in mediation and in therapy--but, I always worry doing so will make me appear sloppy and incompetent.…

In his wonderful poem “Sometimes” (from Everything is Waiting for You, 2007, Many Rivers Press), David Whyte refers to questions that “have no right to go away”. I really like that statement and it touched a chord in me. So, considering my fascination with the art of inquiry I thought about using Whyte’s phrase as the title and premise of this week’s blog.

It seems that when we are in interpersonal conflict we ask ourselves many things about what is going on between the other person…

The Texas Conflict Coach® Blog Talk Radio program announces the following episodes starting

in the month of  April, held every Tuesday night from 5:00-5:30 pm PST/7:00-7:30 pm CST/8:00-8:30 pm EST.

"Starting with our April 8th program, you will learn about various aspects of Workplace Bullying & Harassment."

To participate, go to the designated link for each program or call-in live at 347-324-3591.

April 1st…

Two weekends ago, I attended a two day workshop entitled "Relationship Bootcamp". In case anyone was wondering what mediators do for fun on the weekends, now you know! This intensive retreat taught relational living as the ultimate goal for all human beings. That we seek connection as a fundamental aspect of our nature. We all want intimacy, but not many of us come by it very easily.…

“You leave me with no choice…”

“What else could I have done?”

“There was nothing else I could do.”

“I couldn’t do that.”

You know what?  We always have choices.

We can do this or that.  We can agree or disagree.  We can go with an idea or we can come up with any number of reasons why we could not, but it all boils down to choice.

When we are in conflict situations we can feel a heightened need to defend our position and the…

Family businesses move through many transitions as they grow from Founders to much larger family enterprise systems. The components of this shift include among others: a range of family dynamics issues that can de-rail business or families, clarifying roles, committing to various business competencies, reaching agreements about reasonable expectations, building solid governance structures and…