Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jacob Stodola on October 31, 2012 at 11:23am

This article brought to realization the importance of facial expressions, as well as body language, that are often overlooked or under-appreciated. Taking facial expressions out of a mediation changes the nature of the process, but upon further examination perhaps not that much. In a face to face environment parties will emit a poker face, concealing true intentions or emotions. We are never getting the entire story from simply looking at the person on the other end of the table. While there may be indicators to a person's true emotions, is it ever as easy as looking at the other person?

Audio perhaps makes things easier. Tone and word choice, talking pace, even silence are all subtle hints to a person's state of mind. The clues exist in a phone conversation as much as they do in person. Even an online mediation has indicators in word choice, caps and fonts, text size, emoticons (although I do not use them), and length of a message.

On the opposite, and to me more interesting, side of things, not being face to face, a person may not feel as obligated to hide their emotions. Without having to "hold it together," a person can let their emotions run wild during the mediation process. Not being face to face also allows the opportunity to let anger, sadness, etc. ravage before the person brings it all together and contributes to the negotiation after settling down. This appears to be an advantage to not even playing with cards, now you don't have to worry about hiding them and keeping a poker face.

Taking emotion cues out of the equation, we must rely more on what the other person is telling us. The point of any ADR process is resolution by communication. Should both sides be committed to resolution then it does not matter what emotions are being displayed. Their mindsets are all on whatever gets the issue solved.

While an physically emotionless mediation may seem as an obstacle to overcome, I notice opportunities for a fresh environment without so much hiding.

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Permalink Reply by Anita Vestal on October 31, 2012 at 11:25am

Fantastico, Alberto. Puedo responder in Espanol,  si el comentario no sea muy complicado.

Anita

Alberto Elisavetsky said:

Hello Anita, I'm Alberto Elisavetsky from Odr Latinoamerica, we translate your dicussion and we will publish it in the cyberweek spanish chapter, I hope we can share results.

All the best

Alberto from Argentina

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Permalink Reply by Anita Vestal on October 31, 2012 at 11:33am

Leah, 

thank you so much for sharing the murals. I am touched by the representation of Pres Obama and Martin Luther King with the world and connecting arms in the center. When I see that I think about the sacrifice made by Dr. King and his family and see the fruits of that sacrifice in Barak Obama, first African American President of a country that the world looks up to as a symbol of freedom. A picture really is worth a thousand words and has the magic to inspire and ignite emotions where our language falls short. 

Leah Wing said:

It is wonderful to see the discussion of emotions move into the realm of the arts as well.  Here is a post that I put up on the "Visualizing ADR" forum and thought folks in this discussion might find interesting as well.

I have had the pleasure and honor of collaborating with others internationally on several projects as part of the Art of Conflict Transformation Event Series that I direct at U. of Massachusetts (Amherst). 

The Art of Conflict Transformation Gallery sponsored by odr.info houses images in conjunction with the Event Series which is designed as a platform to bring together scholars, artists, and conflict resolvers to explore the geography of conflict; the spaces in and on which conflict has been imprinted and expressed, and the emerging terrains of resistance, resilience, and transformation.  From 2008-2010, the Event Series focused on the conflict in and around the north of Ireland/Northern Ireland.  The mural tradition there (with close to 2000 murals), created during The Troubles, captured the significant issues surrounding the conflict; and since the Belfast Agreement, new ones have continued to reflect the important issues for the communities transitioning to peace.  Leading Republican and Loyalist muralists have begun to paint together and you can see an archive of their work and this project at:  http://mural.umasslegal.org/

In 2011-2012, Art of Conflict Transformation Event Series focused on women’s acts of resistance to human rights violations in a number of conflict zones throughout the world through their creation of political textiles.  The vast majority of the textiles exhibited were made by women in conflict zones in a number of regions across the globe.  A small number were made by women as acts of resistance in solidarity as witnesses at a distance.  The exhibit,Transforming threads of resistance: political arpilleras & textiles by women from Chile and around the world, can be viewed at the online gallery at: http://blogs.umass.edu/conflictart/

I look forward to hearing about projects others have going.

Anita Vestal said:

Hi Milos

wow, very powerful projects. Are there any images that could be shared on the "Visualizing ADR" which is a part of this Cyberweek conference? I am especially moved by the Combat Paper Project with the images of the soldier undressing as he reconciles a deep connection with those he believed to be his enemies. The parallel of the images of stripping off his clothing as he strips away false beliefs is truly art and emotions combined. Thanks for sharing.

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Permalink Reply by Leah Wing on October 31, 2012 at 11:40am

Thanks Anita.  The Obama/King mural was designed and painted by youth from Springfield, Massachusetts who worked with Danny Devenny, former Irish Republican Army (IRA) prisoner, and Mark Ervine, son of David Ervine, former Progressive Unionist Party leader and Ulster Volunteer Force (UVF) member from Belfast.  It was a truly cross community, international, and multicultural project that reflected reconciliation and justice work on both sides of the Atlantic.

Anita Vestal said:

Leah, 

thank you so much for sharing the murals. I am touched by the representation of Pres Obama and Martin Luther King with the world and connecting arms in the center. When I see that I think about the sacrifice made by Dr. King and his family and see the fruits of that sacrifice in Barak Obama, first African American President of a country that the world looks up to as a symbol of freedom. A picture really is worth a thousand words and has the magic to inspire and ignite emotions where our language falls short. 

Leah Wing said:

It is wonderful to see the discussion of emotions move into the realm of the arts as well.  Here is a post that I put up on the "Visualizing ADR" forum and thought folks in this discussion might find interesting as well.

I have had the pleasure and honor of collaborating with others internationally on several projects as part of the Art of Conflict Transformation Event Series that I direct at U. of Massachusetts (Amherst). 

The Art of Conflict Transformation Gallery sponsored by odr.info houses images in conjunction with the Event Series which is designed as a platform to bring together scholars, artists, and conflict resolvers to explore the geography of conflict; the spaces in and on which conflict has been imprinted and expressed, and the emerging terrains of resistance, resilience, and transformation.  From 2008-2010, the Event Series focused on the conflict in and around the north of Ireland/Northern Ireland.  The mural tradition there (with close to 2000 murals), created during The Troubles, captured the significant issues surrounding the conflict; and since the Belfast Agreement, new ones have continued to reflect the important issues for the communities transitioning to peace.  Leading Republican and Loyalist muralists have begun to paint together and you can see an archive of their work and this project at:  http://mural.umasslegal.org/

In 2011-2012, Art of Conflict Transformation Event Series focused on women’s acts of resistance to human rights violations in a number of conflict zones throughout the world through their creation of political textiles.  The vast majority of the textiles exhibited were made by women in conflict zones in a number of regions across the globe.  A small number were made by women as acts of resistance in solidarity as witnesses at a distance.  The exhibit,Transforming threads of resistance: political arpilleras & textiles by women from Chile and around the world, can be viewed at the online gallery at: http://blogs.umass.edu/conflictart/

I look forward to hearing about projects others have going.

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Permalink Reply by Anita Vestal on October 31, 2012 at 3:20pm

Jacob, these observations are certainly worth keeping in mind as we mediate online. Could also be a benefit of text-based communication for those who are very emotional, knowing they have the time and distance to process their feelings without responding immediately. You wrote,

"... not being face to face, a person may not feel as obligated to hide their emotions. Without having to "hold it together," a person can let their emotions run wild during the mediation process. Not being face to face also allows the opportunity to let anger, sadness, etc. ravage before the person brings it all together and contributes to the negotiation after settling down. This appears to be an advantage..."

Jacob Stodola said:

This article brought to realization the importance of facial expressions, as well as body language, that are often overlooked or under-appreciated. Taking facial expressions out of a mediation changes the nature of the process, but upon further examination perhaps not that much. In a face to face environment parties will emit a poker face, concealing true intentions or emotions. We are never getting the entire story from simply looking at the person on the other end of the table. While there may be indicators to a person's true emotions, is it ever as easy as looking at the other person?

Audio perhaps makes things easier. Tone and word choice, talking pace, even silence are all subtle hints to a person's state of mind. The clues exist in a phone conversation as much as they do in person. Even an online mediation has indicators in word choice, caps and fonts, text size, emoticons (although I do not use them), and length of a message.

On the opposite, and to me more interesting, side of things, not being face to face, a person may not feel as obligated to hide their emotions. Without having to "hold it together," a person can let their emotions run wild during the mediation process. Not being face to face also allows the opportunity to let anger, sadness, etc. ravage before the person brings it all together and contributes to the negotiation after settling down. This appears to be an advantage to not even playing with cards, now you don't have to worry about hiding them and keeping a poker face.

Taking emotion cues out of the equation, we must rely more on what the other person is telling us. The point of any ADR process is resolution by communication. Should both sides be committed to resolution then it does not matter what emotions are being displayed. Their mindsets are all on whatever gets the issue solved.

While an physically emotionless mediation may seem as an obstacle to overcome, I notice opportunities for a fresh environment without so much hiding.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Shara K. Mahoe on October 31, 2012 at 4:45pm

Hello Anita,

I do agree with you that it does take practice to mediate a conflict without showing too much bias to any of the parties. When we mediate situations that we are not attached to, I think it's easier.  However, sometimes we could be mediating our parents divorce, friendship conflicts, or even relationships.  I do think that each time we mediate these situations we gain "practice" but need to take each situation differently.  I think it gives us tools so "history doesn't repeat itself" but need to listen to this new situation.

To answer your second question, i think that we need to be able to utilize social media that is out there to make dealing with the situation easier.  For example, using google hangout, skype.  This way we can see body language which is expresses itself on its own.  I don't think that we can ever truly "understand' someone over email, blogs, tweets, but we can lean to a better understanding with seeing someone.

Anita Vestal said:

Hello Shara, 

I certainly agree that it does take practice to be able to share emotions. On the other hand, it took practice to learn to mediate, too. And it took practice to become comfortable communicating online. Worthwhile lessons take time and effort to learn, do you agree?

The question is "how do we go about getting the practice we need?" When we are involved in an online dispute process, what might we do differently from our current process to dig a bit deeper and give space and respect to the emotions of the parties?

Shara K. Mahoe said:

This is a great topic as online communication is becoming effective then sometimes picking up a telephone and calling someone. I think I'd like to break down your questions and focus on the ways that we do communicate using technology.  We have email which many of us use to describe thoughts on a problem or content.  Text message has become unlimited which allows us to send a quick text in hopes to get a quick response to something.  But these forms of communication can be seen as passive because there's limited effort to get a quick answer.  We could use UPPERCASE or bold or color to make strong points or highlight important points for our reader.  This could show signs of emotions because people interpret text/email edict very differently.  Like Svana said, this often allows individiuals to misinterpret what the composer is sharing.  I'd agree with the last line and saying that it is necessary at any time to ask a question for clarification.  I've often used the term "does this answer your question" which is an open-ended question allowing a yes or no answer.

 

I worked in sales where I was available by email but more so by phone.  Many times I needed to make a decision but after reading a responders text or email it may have confused me even more.  Therefore I picked up the phone and called to get clarification before proceeding.  I guess I wanted to reconfirm.  I may not have seen their face which again plays a role in emotions, but their voice can also tell you their emotion.  I think there also needs to be the ability to trust an email.  But when I say this, email gives us a back up documentation.  I had a supervisor who would sway back and forth on decisions, but when I had that email saying "yes"...i brought it up to cover my choice and reason why I did something.

Lastly I also worked in events where facial expressions say 1000 words.This could be seen as a more active approach.  Being the coordinator of events is also like performing on a broadway stage or being a fish in a fishbowl.  There's people watching you.  I've taken a leadership session where the presenter brought up being the duck in high stressed situation.  This concept references a duck because when we see a duck on water...it's smooth sailing.  However we don't see their web feet going 1000mph under water to allow them smooth sailing.  When we're the duck, we can smile and be happy like nothings wrong, but inside we can freak out.  In sum: being able to check our emotions in the environment we are in.  I remember this concept often when I'm dealing with high-stressful situations.  Being able to call a time out or breathe...allows our minds and heart rate to settle so our decisions won't be so rushed.

Your facial pictures above remind me of the poster "what's your feelings today".  Many of our peers around us deal with situations differently.  I think it really takes practice to be able to share emotions passive and actively.  It's easier when we know our audience but life doesn't deal us these cards often and we need to be able to neutralize our emotions.  So long that we remember to be the duck we can set aside personal and emotional connections to situations.

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Permalink Reply by Nicholas Leslie on October 31, 2012 at 4:55pm

Thank you Dr. Vestal for starting such a great discussion on the role visual/audio input plays in communication. It’s a problem that I’m sure each of us has experience with in today’s modern communication forms. I doubt there is a person visiting cyberweek who hasn’t had a problem with undetected sarcasm in an email or a terse typed-response that may have offended someone.  Online mediation is great development in ADR, but like the posters here have astutely picked up on, it does present some new challenges.

From what I can tell, the lack of visual/audio emotional cues could be really devastating in two possible scenarios. First, where one party’s comments are regarded as offending by the other and second where one party is frustrated with the process and considering ending the mediation.  The upside is that neither one of these problems is unique to the online realm and most mediators are already very adept at dealing with them. The reality of online mediation may only practically mean that a mediator must adapt their skills and training. For example, much of a mediator’s job in the initial stages is simply restating a party’s position in such a way that the other party can gain an understanding of the other side’s position.  In the online realm, a mediator should probably take the time to consider what the opposing party may read into a typed statement and be very proactive about restating things in a very pleasant and neutral way.  In that same vein, the caucus is a tool that mediators use already and could probably be adapted to include “status” checks to make sure that all of the parties are still engaged, hopefully optimistic, and perhaps most importantly have been able to convey all of the ideas that they wanted to.

Now, when I first read your post my initial reaction somewhat similar to Jacob’s. The cynic in me thinks that perhaps addressing a problem solely via the written word might be an advantage. It could allow the parties to tackle the issue in a more logical and forthright fashion. Offending looks and tones will be omitted and the parties can have a reference to look at when considering next steps.  But upon more reflection I am inclined to think that while “online mediation is better than no mediation,” sometimes people struggle to articulate the depths of their emotions and beliefs and there may just be no substitute for seeing the affects the conflict has had on another's face.

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Permalink Reply by Jan McInnis on November 1, 2012 at 11:37am

I like Bill's commenst about reflective typing and the enduring nature of text.

Written comments are often easier to misinterpret as we all know. Having more checking in, and suggesting to our clients to do the same could go a long way in reducing the number of misunderstandings. It also helps us to be better communicators as we learn first hand how a comment we made could be misconstrued. 

As for the enduring nature of text- a wise person once told me that if you wouldn't say it to their face, you shouldn't say it at all. Maybe a good place to start.  

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Permalink Reply by Anita Vestal on November 1, 2012 at 12:00pm

Nicholas,

yes, Yes and YES to all of your points. I surmise that you are a very experienced mediator. I do want to give a resource for your suggestion of using a caucus for "status checks", Giusseppe Leone has a simple method for using Skype for private caucuses. After stating that you'd like to have a private caucus with party one (of course you have already discussed the technique in the opening statements), simply "hang up" on party two, then call him/her/them back after the caucus with party one. 

Nicholas wrote,

"...the caucus is a tool that mediators use already and could probably be adapted to include “status” checks to make sure that all of the parties are still engaged, hopefully optimistic, and perhaps most importantly have been able to convey all of the ideas that they wanted to...

Nicholas Leslie said:

Thank you Dr. Vestal for starting such a great discussion on the role visual/audio input plays in communication. It’s a problem that I’m sure each of us has experience with in today’s modern communication forms. I doubt there is a person visiting cyberweek who hasn’t had a problem with undetected sarcasm in an email or a terse typed-response that may have offended someone.  Online mediation is great development in ADR, but like the posters here have astutely picked up on, it does present some new challenges.

From what I can tell, the lack of visual/audio emotional cues could be really devastating in two possible scenarios. First, where one party’s comments are regarded as offending by the other and second where one party is frustrated with the process and considering ending the mediation.  The upside is that neither one of these problems is unique to the online realm and most mediators are already very adept at dealing with them. The reality of online mediation may only practically mean that a mediator must adapt their skills and training. For example, much of a mediator’s job in the initial stages is simply restating a party’s position in such a way that the other party can gain an understanding of the other side’s position.  In the online realm, a mediator should probably take the time to consider what the opposing party may read into a typed statement and be very proactive about restating things in a very pleasant and neutral way.  In that same vein, the caucus is a tool that mediators use already and could probably be adapted to include “status” checks to make sure that all of the parties are still engaged, hopefully optimistic, and perhaps most importantly have been able to convey all of the ideas that they wanted to.

Now, when I first read your post my initial reaction somewhat similar to Jacob’s. The cynic in me thinks that perhaps addressing a problem solely via the written word might be an advantage. It could allow the parties to tackle the issue in a more logical and forthright fashion. Offending looks and tones will be omitted and the parties can have a reference to look at when considering next steps.  But upon more reflection I am inclined to think that while “online mediation is better than no mediation,” sometimes people struggle to articulate the depths of their emotions and beliefs and there may just be no substitute for seeing the affects the conflict has had on another's face.

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Permalink Reply by Anita Vestal on November 1, 2012 at 12:06pm

Indeed, Jan.

How collaborative and peaceful the world would be if only we could all live by that wise maxim. My mother told us incessantly as children, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." We know we cannot always say only "nice" things... so it is incumbent upon us, particularly as conflict resolvers, to be self aware of how our statements, written and oral, are being received. Best to reflect before pressing "SEND"

Jan McInnis said:

I like Bill's commenst about reflective typing and the enduring nature of text.

Written comments are often easier to misinterpret as we all know. Having more checking in, and suggesting to our clients to do the same could go a long way in reducing the number of misunderstandings. It also helps us to be better communicators as we learn first hand how a comment we made could be misconstrued. 

As for the enduring nature of text- a wise person once told me that if you wouldn't say it to their face, you shouldn't say it at all. Maybe a good place to start.  

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Permalink Reply by Alberto Elisavetsky on November 1, 2012 at 1:55pm

Anita, en virtud que no tenemos suficiente experiencia en el manejo de las emociones a distancia hemos creado un proyecto llamado SIMEDIAR, simulacion de mediaciones a distancia, www.simediar.com , es como un simulador de vuelo de aviones, pero de simulación de mediaciones a distancia.

Comienza el martes 6 de noviembre & contamos con 10 universidades de iberoamerica que designaron cada una 2 becarios, para participar de una experiencia de 6 clases.

Cada becario recibe un entrenamiento de la siguiente forma.

Clase 1) Conocimientos técnicos de como manejar una sala de mediacion en tiempo real a distancia

Clases 2, 3 ,4 & 5 role play de 4 casos sobre distintos temas

Clase 6 ) modelo de evaluacion de eficacia y eficiencia de la mediacion a distancia.

Cada alumno para concluir el entrenamiento debe generar un documento con sus experiencias y opiniones, para ser certificado.

Cada participante durante el entrenamiento recibe una sala de mediación a distancia interactiva para su uso y entrenamiento.

Se componen 4 grupos de 5 miembros cada uno

SIMEDIAR logo

www.simerdiar.com

Alberto

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Permalink Reply by Alberto Elisavetsky on November 1, 2012 at 1:59pm

Access recording launching  Distance Mediation Simulation Project SIMEDIAR www.simediar.com to Latin America webminar

link: http://simediar.com/grabacion-evento-lanzamiento-simediar/

INSTITUIONS SUPPORTING SIMEDIAR PROJECT

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