What's Happening in Conflict Resolution [09.02.14]

Tips for Lawyers When Working with a Mediator

In his column in the latest issue of The Professional Family MediatorChip Rose writes about the idea of “The Perfect Mediation.”

As a highly experienced mediator, Mr. Rose acknowledges that a “perfect” mediation is obviously very subjective. But, relating the story of a recent case he mediated, Rose illustrates what a mediation can look like when everyone comes prepared to collaborate – and the result is as close to perfect as a mediator can ask for.

The key to mediation perfection?

Use These 16 Irrefutable Negotiation Tactics To Get What You Deserve

Cliff Oxford Contributor- from Forbes.com

Successful negotiations now require creative marketing, sales and strategy; not the traditional “pound the table” tactics of the past. However, one thing remains constant in business: you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate. So go get what you want.

As a follow up to my Forbes columnHow To Get More For Your Horses, here are 16 irrefutable remarks of entrepreneurial negotiation.

  1. Find out the other party’s agenda and embrace it. It is imperative to understand the point of view of the person you will be negotiating with by asking yourself these questions: What represents a successful result for her? What will constitute a win for her in a negotiation session? How can you make her look better? You don’t get to enjoy a victory lap in negotiations, until you have walked a mile in the other person’s shoes.
  2. Represent the market reality you are asking for. Sam Walton drove a Ford F150 truck because he wanted to look like a low cost seller. You have to be who you say you are 24×7 and not just during work hours. If you are selling Yachts, you better look like a Yachtsmen. Look like the money you are asking for.
  3. Know if time is working for or against you. The Viet Cong government knew Americans could not stomach watching the tragedies of war on television, so they knew they had to outlast negotiations. There, while our Secretary of State Henry Kissinger wanted to get right to how to end the war, the Viet Cong had long talks and negotiations over where everyone sat.
  4. Never split the difference.

Read the full article at Forbes.com [here].

Cinnie NobleA friend of mine – I’ll call him Max – recently had a disagreement with his sister, and he was agonizing to me about it and how to mend things. When he was brainstorming how to get her to talk to him Max said, “maybe I ought to go with an olive branch in hand”. I asked him how he thought that would work and he said, “It’s a goodwill gesture – a symbol of peace – and if she throws it back at me I’ll know the timing is wrong!” Max’s use of the expression inspired me to consider its derivation, and together we headed for the internet to discover more about its meaning.

There are many sources regarding the olive branch and they date back to Ancient Greek and Roman mythology and to early Christianity. One reference also states: “The flag of Cyprus and coat of arms of Cyprus both use olive branc...

5 Mediation Secrets Can Change Life

I’ve been a lawyer for almost 30 years and a mediator since 1990. I’ve learned how to help resolve people’s problems, getting them not only what they say they want, but what they really want and aren’t telling me.

I have five secrets that have changed my life and those of the people I work and play with.

I’ll let you in on these secrets. Use them wisely. They are powerful tools.

 
MBB is seeking Volunteer or Intern!

“Talk To Me”: What It Takes To Be An NYPD Hostage Negotiator

United States Ombudsman Association Annual Conference

It is our pleasure to invite you to join us at the 35th United States Ombudsman  Association Annual Conference this October in Lincoln, Nebraska.   Lin Quenzer, Lincoln’s Ombudsman, is our conference host.  

We believe you will find our professions have a lot in common and that our conference sessions will afford you the opportunity for professional growth.  For example, the one-day pre-conference training, Understanding and Managing High Conflict Personalities by the Co-Founder of the High Conflict Institute, will help you understand the dynamics of personality disorders in conflict resolution settings and presents skills for handling high conflict personalities.  

"The Texas Conflict Coach"® September Radio Programs

 September 2nd:  Managing Conflicts Among People of Different Cultures

Conflict is inevitable in life. Our responses to it are affected by both our human nature and our cultural backgrounds. Cultural differences can be the cause of conflict and can complicate our efforts to resolve it. In this program, we will explore ways of addressing conflicts involving people from different cultures.

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September 9th:  Refusing to be Enemies:  The Zeitouna Story

Zeitouna is Arabic for "olive tree" or "olive".  In the sumer of 2002, a unique sisterhood was born in Ann Arbor, Michigan, comprised of six Arab and six Jewish women.  Naming themselves Zeitouna, they unknowingly embarked on a life-changing journey, both personal and socio-political.  Committing to learn to hear each voice in the group has permanently joined them across the divide of their ancestral communities.  Zeitouna's mission is to embody and promote the peaceful and just coexistence of the Arab and Jewish peoples through connection, trust, empathy, and actions focused on supporting a sustainable future for Palestine and Israel.

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September 16th:  Conflict and Miscommunication Across Cultures

Nina has worked with many cultures in her decades of mediation work. She will share concepts such as the different ways of looking at fairness, how cultures respond to conflict and why they have dissimilar desires as to their goals and outcomes, how people express the same emotion in a variety of ways, and why it is a common mistake to "pretend to be in someone else's shoes".  This very practical 30 minutes will help you understand some of the diversity across cultures that can create problems and explore positive steps in working through the conflict.

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September 23rd:  Transforming Our Inner Conflict

Whether we are aware of it or not we live in a racial world, which proposes equality, but is firmly set on hierarchy, inequality, and separation.  patterns of racial dysfunction have been handed down from generation to generation.  How do we transform these patterns and begin to live the connection that is part of our natural human existence?

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September 30th:  Embracing Cultural Differences Requires Challenging Your Mindset

Globalization is making our world smaller with cross-cultural situations at the core. Even though diversity can be a powerful source for creativity, adaptability and innovation, the potential for conflict increases, requiring even more attention to how we deal with differences and how people work together. People’s actions reflect people’s thinking. One challenge we all face is the way we think about the parties involved in any conflicting situation. When interacting with others, people assume and attribute intentions to others. An “all-or-nothing” thinking and a right/wrong mindset lead people to play blame games and get stuck judging others instead of looking forward to resolve the matter at hand. Can we get “unstuck”?

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Jobs

Job: Ombuds at Binghamton University

Job: Reservist ADR Advisor at FEMA

Job: Ombuds for U.S. Army Forces Command

Job: Ombuds for U.S. Olympic Committee

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