"What's Happening in Conflict Resolution" is a weekly round up of the all the ADR news, jobs, events and more. Check it out each week and view past versions [HERE].

How to get what you want: top negotiators on the tricks of their trade

Ayesha Vardag (The Divorce Lawyer)-  Emotions can completely derail any sort of sensible compromise. It’s also common for people to fixate on details. I’ve had people fight over furniture, coffee machines, even ski suits. Those items become sticking points, because they are in some way emotive. I advise them to forget about the small stuff and just focus on getting what they want.

Christopher Voss- (The Hostage Negotiator)- I like to define negotiation as emotional intelligence on steroids. The key to success is navigating the other person’s emotions. In a hostage situation, emotions might seem to be larger than normal, but it doesn’t mean they’re any different. I do think introspective people make better negotiators because they think about human dynamics more. They don’t miss what’s going on.

How to handle a difficult situation...

Elizabeth O’Shea- (The Parenting Guru) Pre-negotiate tantrums. The first time, you can’t do a lot about it – you weren’t expecting it. But you need to plan ahead for when it happens again. Talk to them and ask questions.

Read the full article from The Guardian [HERE]. 

By Bill Marsh (Editor), Bill Marsh Mediator

Something is in the air at the moment. And it goes to the heart of what we mediators do.

On the one hand, noted mediation thinkers such as Robert Bush and Joseph Folger write an empassioned challenge to the profession“Reclaiming Mediation’s Future: Getting Over the Intoxication of Ex..., arguing that mediation has shifted radically away from the party self-determination which is its essence. They maintain that the context in which many mediations take place – the court system – has over-influenced the behaviour of mediators themselves, noting that:

“We were drawn in by the culture of helping, the drug-like “high” of reaching agreements (and even “wise” agreements), the “rush” of satisfaction in cutting Gordian knots, finding creative solutions, and protecting vulnerable parties. Along the way, the theory of the “wise negotiator” penetrated the mediation field, making the problem-solver role look even more attractive. So that the subtler, finer, and ultimately higher value of party self-determination was simply overwhelmed by the intoxication of the problem-solver role”.

...Again, a strong focus on self-determination.

But at the same time, another good friend and respected mediator Bill Wood notes in a recent blog an

“increasing tendency of parties (or rather their lawyers) to demand from me as the mediator more engagement with and more technical analysis of the legal issues.
Bluntly I’m being put on the spot. Recently two parties amended my mediation agreement to require me (the usual wording merely “permits” me) to express my views on the merits of their respective positions at the end of the mediation day if the case had not otherwise settled”.

Read more [HERE]. 

Call for papers - law student writing competition - dispute resolut...

Patricia M Porter- Customers and traders have much more balanced relationship now than in the past, due to the role of social media and customer reviews. The key role of online social media forces traders to actively engage in partner dialogue with their customers. Customers will have more significant role also in resolving customer complains.

How?

Listen to our broadcast [HERE]. 

From: Tom A. Kosakowski

Ombuds Year in Review: 2014

Job: Ombuds at Ole Miss

Job: Ombuds at Dartmouth College

Job: Ombuds at University of California Office of the President

Fellowship Opportunity With D.C. Schools Ombudsman

Crisis Negotiator: The Key to Resolution Is Listening

"Every situation is different and whatever brought a person, or precipitated an event, to where a person felt that they were in crisis is different for everybody," Lt. Bavencoff said. "So we have to listen to find out what that is, to see how we can resolve that situation."

A tense standoff Thursday morning where a father led police on a pursuit with his four children in the car ended with no injuries, thanks to negotiations with police over a cell phone.

Read more [HERE]

The Olive Branch Blog- I knew it would happen: Just a week after all three of my children came down with the flu, I found myself with a fever

, chills, and laid up in bed.And, we all know what that means–junk T.V.! Well, I happened to turn on “Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce,” and, as you probably guessed, it’s about divorce. In one episode, the main character and her husband decided to go through divorce mediation. However, after mentioning this to a friend, who shows up but the friend’s divorce attorney to warn the main character of all the pitfalls of mediation.

I loosely quote, “mediators prey on those who are desperate and guilty. If you make more money, then, you feel guilty and will give him whatever he wants, and mediators know this.”

Wha?!

Read more [HERE].