The expression “what is on the lung is on the tongue” causes me to smile, as my mother used to say it about people who say whatever is on their mind – uncensored, unthinkingly, and impulsively. When I searched for an explanation of the derivation and meaning of this expression, I could not find it anywhere. Considering that perhaps my mother came up with the expression gave me even more reason to smile. Knowing her it would appeal to her that she made a rhyming commentary on the nature of some people she knew. I think actually, that my mother may have at times wished to be one of those people who said whatever was on her mind!

In any case, what often initiates or exacerbates conflict is a tendency to blurt out what’s on our mind or in our heart - or lungs. While it may be argued that this reflects honesty and openness, it may also show a lack of filters and boundaries. Depending on what is said and how it is said, unbridled opinions may even be considered indiscriminate and uncaring.

This week’s ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blog asks questions of readers who have a tendency to say whatever comes to your mind that inadvertently initiates an unnecessary conflict. Please consider a time when you blurted out something that did so when answering these questions:

• What did you exactly say and what was the context?
• What motivated you to say that?
• How did it initiate a conflict?
• What were you thinking at the time that inspired you to say what you did? What were you feeling?
• What impact did you observe on the other person when you said it?
• What kept you from keeping the comment(s) to yourself?
• What may have been different if you hadn’t said anything?
• What were you conscious of wanting to achieve?
• How else may you have achieved that?
• What needs to happen for you to be able to contain the impulse to say what comes to your mind and heart, if you want to?

What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?

Originally posted on www.cinergycoaching.com/blog