Preparing to respond to another person’s initiation of a conflict conversation can be an art and science, just as it is when we are the initiator. You may not have thought of conflict conversations as being either an art or science. The reality is we all are involved on a regular basis in communications that are and that have the potential for being difficult, emotional, inflammatory and so on.

It is up to us to choose whether we want to engage in difficult communications that someone else initiates. It also means being strategic and determining when and how to do so. These aren’t choices that we usually think we have when someone else starts a conflict conversation. This is especially the case if the other person approaches us in a way that pushes our buttons. The thing is, we still have a choice about how and when we react.

The following questions will hopefully help focus and prepare for the occasion when another person initiates a conflict conversation with you:

• What are the risks that concern you when someone else initiates a conflict conversation?
• How would you describe what it is like for you when you are the initiator of a conflict conversation?
• What are the chances that the other person experiences the same sort of thoughts and feelings when s/he starts a challenging conversation?
• What are the ideal signs that indicate you are ready to engage in a conflict conversation?
• What would success be for you in a conflict conversation when someone else initiates it?
• How will you achieve this the next time it occurs?
• If you are not ready to converse, what is the optimum way to respond that is consistent with how you want to interact at these times?
• How would you describe how you want to be and be perceived in a conflict conversation when someone else initiates it?
• What do you want to be most careful about when others initiate conflict conversations (that you have tended to do and don’t want to)?
• What is the skill you want to hone most to respond the way you want to under these circumstances?

Any other comments about this topic and/or what other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add on this topic?

Originally posted on www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/