Comment by Jeff Thompson on November 21, 2011 at 8:38am

Jillian,

 

Welcome to ADRhub!

 

I too had read Bernie's book while in the Master's program and enjoyed it as well as his presentations. In regards to 'Conflict Resolution' and 'Conflict Engagement'- although I fully understand what you mean, two things come to my mind.  

 

1) Knowing the needs of the person(s) we are working with in the dispute or conflict should dictate the terminology.  I say light heartedly, but imagine if you were mediating a divorcing couple and you told them you were going  to help the engage the conflict instead of help them work towards resolution! :)

2) One take-away from Bernie's book I had is working in conflict is not limited to being a third-party neutral but rather everyone and anyone can use these skills to help others... and themselves when they are involved in a dispute or conflict. 

 

Ultimately I think 'engagement' and 'resolution' are both right and wrong- it all depends on our particular role, the context of the situation, and the needs of the parties.

 

Also, always feel free to contribute- no need to wait, one of the best things about ADRhub is being able to engage others of all different levels of practice.  Looking forward to hearing more from you as time progresses.

 

Jeff

Comment by Jillian Post on November 21, 2011 at 1:50pm

Jeff,

There are many terrific things about reaching the age of 50. I am truly enjoying it.... immensely! I really do have more vision (hindsight and into the future). I had a fair amount of vision before I sought more education but now the "world is bustin' wide open".  As I read my material for class, meet people, engage in thought provoking conversation (which I have always done, but now its in a field of study where my interests lie) I come to realize..... I am gifted with a pretty good brain. I do consider it a gift. What I do with it however, is my responsibility.

I was finishing a chapter in Beyond Neutrality this morning when I suddenly starting feeling very blessed. I am blessed because I have survived a tremendous amount of conflict. I have a solid foundation, a curiously open mind, travels to some very interesting places under my belt, and an astounding acceptance of diversity. I am not just talking about the way we peg the term diversity to mean different ethnic groups... I mean, in the lack of judging people. These traits will serve me well in the years to come.

One last thought. In about 18 months, I will have a Master's in "Conflict Resolution". How will my life change? Will I suddenly want to apply at a mediation facility so I can begin mediating family conflict? How about get my foot in the door at a corporation that needs someone on staff to help employees work out their differences? Or (as if I had the credentials) teach in an institution? None of these things are my ultimate goal. What I really want to do is get out there and engage in living.....get my hands dirty, soak up the conflict that is life. I would love to (don't know if I will get the chance, but I will die trying) help people from diverse backgrounds, in diverse lands, communicate better and have a chance to be in less pain. I keep using the term "agent of peace"..... or peacemaker. These are vague concepts.... most would call them pie in the sky. But really, I am thrilled to be unencumbered (no kids, pets, sinking stock portfolio, or addiction to a lavish lifestyle). I am open to all paths and that is very liberating indeed.

So conflict resolution, conflict engagement......po-tay-to, po-tah-to......(You may be too young to know this lyrical reference, sorry) I hope to make it all part of my repertoire. I am simply having a blast learning!!!!

 

Jillian 

Jeff,

There are many terrific things about reaching the age of 50. I am truly enjoying it.... immensely! I really do have more vision (hindsight and into the future). I had a fair amount of vision before I sought more education but now the "world is bustin' wide open".  As I read my material for class, meet people, engage in thought provoking conversation (which I have always done, but now its in a field of study where my interests lie) I come to realize..... I am gifted with a pretty good brain. I do consider it a gift. What I do with it however, is my responsibility.

I was finishing a chapter in Beyond Neutrality this morning when I suddenly starting feeling very blessed. I am blessed because I have survived a tremendous amount of conflict. I have a solid foundation, a curiously open mind, travels to some very interesting places under my belt, and an astounding acceptance of diversity. I am not just talking about the way we peg the term diversity to mean different ethnic groups... I mean, in the lack of judging people. These traits will serve me well in the years to come.

Comment