Communicating with your children can be a real challenging. Does it feel more like "kommunication?"

What got me thinking about this was an article I read last week about how to get your kids to talk. The columnist was on the right track with her suggestion to ask them questions ... but if she had taken our mediation class, she would have thought of even better questions.

Her thought was to ask impersonal questions like "Would you rather have seven samurai sworn to protect you or 500 hamsters?” I don't know about you, but if my son or daughter answered that question, it wouldn't really tell me much about what was going on with them.

So ... I'd like to relay a story about one of our students ... who started our class last year as a naysayer. He really didn't embrace the whole concept of mediation ... at first.

But one evening between classes, he tried out one of the techniques he had learned - - on his kids. Rather than asking them "How was your day?" or "What did you do today?" and getting the usual "Fine" or "Nothing" as a reply, he asked them "What was the best part of your day?" And much to his surprise ... they answered him in a meaningful and sharing way. I think it may have been a turning point for him in our class.

So next time you want to connect better with your kids, try an open ended question that taps into the positive and gives them lots of room to answer ... and then start listening.

Jeanette