Earlier this year, I signed up for an online presentation about ‘Energy Management.’ I thought now that sounds interesting … I need a lot of energy to get everything done – maybe I could be doing things better.

It turns out that the program was about the kind of energy you bring to a conflict (into a room, as I call it), not the kind that keeps you fueled.

Even better, I thought because I am teaching a conflict resolution class next month and I am always looking for new material to share.

According to the presenter, Laura Scott, you have choices on how to handle conflict … including what energy you bring to a room.

I thought it might be easier to explain with examples. How do you feel when you read these phrases below?

• The problem with …..
• I’m afraid that ….
• They should have ….
• What’s the point of …

I don’t know about you, but they sound pretty negative to me. These all have CATABOLIC energy. Now what does that mean?? Simply put, it means ‘destructive.’ They break things down.

Contrast that with these phrases:

• I understand why …
• We’ll succeed if we ….
• I will …
• It would be good to ….

How do you react to those phrases? Better, I’m guessing … because these are ANABOLIC or constructive phrases. They help to smooth things over and heal.

So, which would you rather be listening to??

Next time I’m in a tough conversation, I will step back and listen to what I am saying and ask myself “What energy am I bringing to this situation?”

If it’s destructive … how can I change my approach and turn that around? How can I bring the best energy possible to the room?

Jeanette