So often we embark on a difficult communication or react to a conflict situation by trying to discuss it, before we or the other person are ready. Anxiety to resolve the issues, a desire to get past the high emotions, a need to make amends and other reasons compel many of us to dive in prematurely to talk things out. On the other hand, we may tend to wait too long before we reach out and find our efforts are perceived as ‘too little too late’, despite our good intentions.

These considerations work both ways of course, and poor timing whether too early or too late, has an impact on how amenable the other person or we will be to having a conversation about a conflict situation. In either case, contemplating how and when and whether to discuss an incident takes some reflection. This week’s blog asks you to think about one situation when you approached the other person when you realized it was too early and one when it was too late.

• When you approached the other person before he or she was ready, what happened?
• How did you determine the timing?
• When another person has ever approached you to discuss the conflict between you before you were ready, what did you experience?
• Generally, what are the risks for reaching out before the other person is ready?
• When you approached the other person in a situation and she or he said it was too late, what happened?
• How did you determine the timing here?
• If another person has approached you when it feels like it is too late after a conflict situation, how was that for you?
• What are the general risks in reaching out too late?
• What needs to be in place for you to know when you are ready to have a conflict conversation?
• What ‘best practices’ do you think may help to determine what timing works most effectively for the other person in your conflicts?

Any other comments about this topic or other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) that may be helpful about determining readiness to discuss a conflict are welcome.

Originally posted on www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/