CONFLICT POSTURING

When I first started to practice law some years ago I heard the expression and then, observed the act of “posturing” - as referred to lawyers who became positional during negotiations or court proceedings. As I observed it, posturing is typically demonstrated through body language, mannerisms, and words. These came together, it seemed, in an adversarial effort to ‘win’ and assert a position about a legal dispute. While posturing may be considered strategic and just part of the game of lawyering, I have to admit it actually didn’t feel sport-like or fun to me!

Sometimes I found posturing to be arrogant behaviour, especially when lawyers took on what I perceived as a ‘bullying’ and a ‘holier-than-thou’ demeanour. Their combative and undermining approach at these times appeared as a posture of defiance and indignation. I also read into the attitude conveyed sentiments such as: “my way or the highway”; “I know a whole lot more than you possibly could”; and other such remarks.

How to interact when on the receiving end of posturing – to counter the posture in a conflict masterful way - can be challenging. To consider ways to respond effectively when provoked by this technique it will help to consider, for this week’s ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blog, a time when someone was posturing with you in a disagreement and you weren’t sure how to respond.

What was the context of the dispute?
What was the other person doing verbally that you experienced as posturing?
What was she or he doing physically that you experienced as posturing?
What message were you ‘hearing’ from or reading into the person’s body postures (naming the specific posture(s) from which you got the message(s))?
What message(s) were you getting from her or his words and/or way they were conveyed?
What ‘posture’ was most off-putting for you? Why that one?
How may you describe the posture you demonstrated in your response?
What other sorts of posturing techniques are you aware of using?
What do you achieve by posturing? What don’t you achieve?
Next time you encounter posturing from another person that is off-putting, what is the optimum response you plan to use?