When a conflict is over and we are experiencing ongoing thoughts about what we wished we had said or done, it is a good time to figure out what we learned that will help us going forward. Making an action plan is one way of precluding continual wishing to do things differently - after our conflicts are over. Rather, we become intentional about what we want to work on in order to be proactive and prevent unnecessary conflict, and to not agonize in the aftermath of our interpersonal disputes.

Action plans essentially define our objectives and the steps we will take to accomplish them. When we develop action plans as part of our personal or professional development, it is important to make realistic and measurable plans and proceed in incremental stages to move forward. This may involve, for instance, starting with one goal, specifically naming how we will be different when we reach it, describing the strategies we intend to take to reach that objective, naming the potential obstacles, and setting target dates. Asking one or more friends, colleagues, and/or family members to help us by sharing our plan and requesting their input on how we are doing further assists us in our efforts.

This week’s blog provides a framework through ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) to develop an action plan regarding a conflict habit you want to change, by selecting one area and working through the questions. Then, as you develop stronger conflict management skill in that area, the methodical use of these questions will help to facilitate your ongoing efforts in other areas too.

• What is the first area you want to develop/improve?
• How do you describe your specific goal in this regard?
• In what ways will you be different from how you are now when it comes to this area?
• What is motivating you to develop/improve this area right now?
• How might others describe you now regarding this characteristic, etc.? How do you want to be described?
• How do you want to feel about yourself when you reach your goal?
• How committed are you to reaching your goal on a scale of 1-5, 5 being very much and 1 being not so much? If you are not highly committed, how come?
• What is at stake if you do not improve?
• What is the first step you will take to reach your goal? What – in order – are the following steps?
• What challenges do you foresee in reaching your goal? How will you overcome them?

What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?

Originally posted at www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/