Conflict can weigh us down and we limp along with it on our shoulders. These are the times we ask ourselves questions like, “Why did I get into that fight?”, or “What was I trying to prove?, or “What was she on about?”, or “Why did he get so upset?” In any case, when we care about the relationship, the weight usually feels heavier than when we don’t. The questions we ask ourselves at these times are often negative, self-limiting or self-serving.

Here are some other questions to ask yourself when you find yourself weighed down by your conflicts. Consider one that was or is a heavy weight for you and see if your answers shed some light on the weight you are carrying.

• What was or is weighing you down about that particular conflict?
• What may be the reasons for that?
• What do or did you care about most about this conflict?
• How would you describe the weight?
• What if anything, may you be carrying around from a previous situation or the relationship with the other person that adds weight to this one?
• When you hold onto the things from conflicts that seem to weigh you down, what words describe what that feels like?
• What do you think you are carrying around at these times that you would like to let go of?
• What themes are there if any, about the types of conflicts or the person(s) in those happenings, that seem to feel heavier than others?
• What choices do you have about how to lighten the load that you haven’t tried before?

Any other comments about this topic and/or what other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may work for those who carry the weight of conflict?

Originally posted at www.cinergycoaching.com/blog/