"A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt."   G.K. Chesterton.

I refer to this quote from this great 19th Century English writer because it characterizes a recent mediation session that I facilitated.  It was a classic case of one party proposing 5 star service and delivering less than one star to the other party.  The plaintiff was suing the defendant for the entire amount of the contract for failure to provide the proposed services and to meet their expectations. 

As the session proceeded, I sensed that the plaintiff experienced great emotional pain and anguish that could not be measured monetarily. The financial damages were immaterial when weighed against the defendant's indifference to the plaintiff's expectations and anticipation. I suggested that the defendant apologize to the plaintiff in addition to paying the negotiated settlement  The defendant, the president of the services company was Caucasian, and the aggrieved party was an African-American woman who represented her 30 family members. This was not a case of overt or deliberate racism, but it smacked of a bait and switch ploy over the level of services rendered between a suburban company and people of the inner city.  The apology was stiff hence my reference to Chesterton.  I stopped the gentleman and said, "Let's start over.  This time with feeling for a fellow human being."

Since his apology was insincere at best, the plaintiff broke off the ADR session and requested a hearing before the magistrate.

The key to the mediation session was recognizing that no monies could take the place of a heartfelt apology since the compensation fluctuated from $100 to $3,000 to $1,500 from the first complaint over poor service to the mediation and subsequent court session.  The defendant simply did not know how to admit his error and to apologize from the heart.  He made the situation worse because indeed the aggrieved party and her family needed to heal;however, he re- opened the wound.

JCT