Christmas is almost here. It’s the season of peace and yet the world doesn’t feel like a very peaceful place.

That’s why I decided to dedicate this blog post to peace and efforts to each children about peace in elementary school. The earlier the better in my book.

S.E. L. (social and emotional learning) is as important as…

As many of you may know (or, perhaps the news hasn’t traveled to the mainland, yet), we have a pretty serious Dengue Fever outbreak here in Hawaii. For now, it’s mostly contained to the Big Island, but the potential of widespread infection still looms. So, you can imagine many of us here in Hawaii are a little “on-edge!”

So, what does Dengue Fever have to do with conflict? The answer may surprise you.

As part of our public service (and my job as a producer), we at PBS…

Questions. The more I spend time in the field of conflict resolution, the more important they become to me.

That is why I attended a workshop entitled: Asking Questions that Matter – I’m always looking for another opportunity to share conflict resolutions techniques that are simple and don’t require a mediator.

I hope…

I have a dear friend who got a divorce about a year and a half ago, and by all accounts, it was one of the most amicable divorces on file. As part of keeping it amicable, they decided to “figure it out” when it came to visitation and custody. After all, they were still friends, and it shouldn’t be too hard to agree on who gets their son and when.

So far, it’s worked out. Except for a few bumps along the way (Christmas holiday travel, last-minute requests, grandparent…

December is like getting ready for a vacation. There are so many things to do before you leave for your destination … that the stressors can be high.

That’s how I sometimes feel in the weeks before Christmas. I want to find the perfect gifts for family and friends, mail all of my cards on time, attend holiday gatherings, bake cookies, trim the tree and so many more holiday activities. The time is so short and the list is sooo long.

It can create a…

Many of you probably know by now I’m a HUGE fan of working things out between individuals before getting a third party involved. But, when it comes to conflict in the workplace, when is it time to get Human Resources involved?

I’d love to provide you with a short-and-sweet answer. But, in truth, the answer is personal and subjective–and, it’s different in every case. Still, I’ve come up with a few ways to know it’s time to turn to your workplace HR department when you’re in…

Let’s face it. Sometimes the easiest thing to do is to blame someone one else.

When the reality is that we should look to ourselves.

What do I mean by that?

For me it boils down to a very simple concept:

The most important state of mind in any situation is YOURS.

It doesn’t matter when or where it is – with family, in the workplace or a crowded airplane on a busy holiday weekend.

If your first thought in a…

Happy Thanksgiving!

As we take stock of all we’re grateful for this Thanksgiving, I have my own bit of gratitude to share: I’m thankful for perseverance.

Just to make sure I’m using the right word, I looked it up. Perseverance is defined as “steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.”

Yep, right word.…

Thanksgiving is approaching and I thought it would be a good time to remind our readers that ‘listening’ is a GREAT conflict resolution tool.

Extended time with family and friends can be rewarding and delightful and can also test our patience and tap into unresolved or brewing conflict.

If you are having difficulty with someone at…

Jeanette’s post this past Monday about parents who support adult children really hit home for me, and I felt I just HAD to respond. You see, I’m the “other” kid, the one who feels some resentment toward a sibling who has turned to Mom and Dad for financial support…and more financial support…and more financial support. You get the idea.

Jeanette’s right. When a parent financially supports one child but not the other, resentment often follows. And, the “other” child wonders–why…

Dear Parents: Sometimes your adult children experience difficult financial times and you want to help them out. Yet you might feel badly that you aren’t treating your children ‘equally.’

Dear Children: Sometimes, one of you may need financial help from your parents while the rest of you are economically stable or even better off. Yet, you may feel that it’s not ‘fair’ that mom and dad are helping your sibling through tough times (and perhaps…

Every morning, my routine goes something like this: wake up, curse the dogs across the street that WOKE me up, grab my phone, check the news, get my kids ready for school. And, in my early morning fog, I’ve been reading a lot about a football coach in Seattle who may be fired for praying at the 50-yard line at football games.The story varies a little from news outlet to news outlet, but the latest I’ve read is that mediation was (at one point, anyway)an option.…

Ah – remember being graded in kindergarten about your social skills? Did you play well with others?

Well, it turns out that what we are taught at this early age – things like sharing, caring and going with the flow — are also VERY applicable to our workplace.

A new study, conducted by David Deming, an Associate Professor of…

As a parent of schoolchildren, I share the fear that many mothers have (whether we admit it or not): will my child ever be suspended/kicked-out of school? With all the “zero-tolerance” policies put in place years ago, it doesn’t seem to take much to get suspended or expelled. And, I admit–I always wondered if there was a better way to handle misbehavior in school.

Turns out, I’m not alone. The Associated Press just came out with a really interesting article outlining how some…

OK … so, I’m an ‘A’ type personality.

I can’t remember the last time I approached a project with the idea that I was only going to get half of it done. Why bother if you don’t go the distance?

And yet, that’s exactly the advice I gave someone the other day.

A colleague who knows I am a trained mediator asked me to refer him to a divorce mediator. Let’s name him Harry.

Harry is hoping that he and his wife can come to an amicable…

Every morning, I start my day like most Americans–by checking my cell phone for the latest news and weather. I especially like the AP wire, probably because it’s my old friend from my newsroom days. And, although coverage has “died down” a bit lately, for a while, all I was reading about was Donald Trump.

Now, I don’t dare get into politics in this blog, but I found myself fascinated by all the coverage focused on Trump (good AND bad). Every day, it seems, he was creating a…

Being on vacation is a perfect time to think about happiness. What does it take to be happy?

I don’t have time to read many magazines but the opportunity presented itself poolside in Southern CA last month. Someone had left a copy of ‘Health’  for me to enjoy.and there on the ‘Best Life Now’ page, was a little blurb about happiness.…

We have a really fun term in the therapy world: triangulation. I’ve written about the concept before, but I’ll refresh your memories–triangulation happens when two people “bring” a third party into a discussion, argument, or conflict in order to ease the tension or avoid the conflict altogether. Have you ever been angry with a co-worker, spouse, or friend, but didn’t want to confront that person directly? Isn’t it easier to tell someone ELSE about the conflict and let them solve it for…

How do you have a conversation with someone who has dementia? What do you talk about?

It’s pretty challenging when the person you love can’t follow along. Usual conversation topics such as family members, current events and memories don’t work. Plus, even if you find a good topic, there is great difficulty keeping a conversation going when the other person loses their train of thought mid-sentence.

What to do? How do you avoid frustration as a…

I recently wrote a post about adults who push boundaries, but it’s worth noting that kids are experts at it! And, at the risk of writing about boundaries to excess, I think it’s important for all parents to know how they can benefit children, too.

It’s taken me 11 years of (nearly) full-time parenting to figure something out: kids really do love boundaries. I know all the parenting books say so. But, have you ever been around a toddler testing boundaries?…