When you are in conflict, it’s pretty easy to blame a lot on the other person. If only he/she would ___________ (fill in the blank to personalize).

Yet conflicts have a lot to do with us and our contribution to them.

What do I mean?

When things have broken down with another person, here are 6 questions to ask ourselves to figure out if it’s worthwhile to attempt a collaborative conversation with him/her.

As you read through them, you…

My neighbor just left after spending about an hour and a half with me, sipping tea and chatting. Yes, it’s all very 1950’s, but alas–this is the beauty of freelancing! As we were visiting, I noticed myself slipping into teenage-girl mode, gossiping about people we both know. And, all the while, I knew it was wrong.

Or, was it?

I thought I would do a little research on the subject, and it turns out that gossiping can actually be good for you–if you do it the right way.…

My neighbor just left after spending about an hour and a half with me, sipping tea and chatting. Yes, it’s all very 1950’s, but alas–this is the beauty of freelancing! As we were visiting, I noticed myself slipping into teenage-girl mode, gossiping about people we both know. And, all the while, I knew it was wrong.

Or, was it?

I thought I would do a little research on the subject, and it turns out that gossiping can actually be good for you–if you do it the right way.…

Sometimes, a community can be overwhelmed. Like Boston was in 2015 with almost 100 inches on snow.

Think about it – that’s an 8 foot high snow pile!

Firefighters were spending their time digging out hydrants and then doing it all over again as the snow accumulated.

There are 13,683 of them!!

Everyone was trying…

Life is full of choices, and the menu of options starts as soon as we wake up in the morning. Should I get out of bed? What should I have for breakfast? What’s the latest I can push my departure-time before I’m late to work? (a favorite, of course).

What few people realize is that some of the most important choices will happen when we’re in the midst of conflict. In a recent article in The Huffington Post by author and therapist Margaret Paul, Ph.D., the author lays out the…

It’s exhausting! … I heard this phrase twice last week.

The first time, I read it in the newspaper. Kim, a young woman from LV, described how tiring it is to have a mental illness and to live with the stigma every day.  She wouldn’t ask for extra sick days when she needed them. It was exhausting to hide her illness from potential employers or…

Fear–we all have it. Some of us have more. Some of us have less. But, being afraid is part of the human condition, whether we like it or not.

But, when was the last time you tried to define it? I have to admit, even in my role as a therapist, I’ve rarely asked my clients to define what “fear” means. Without a definition of the actual term, we typically spend hour upon hour trying to process “fear.” But, define it? Almost never.

So, it was with great relief that I…

Texting often gets a bad name – it’s impersonal or distracting. It occupies some young people’s time way too much.

With all of that bad rap, have you ever thought that texting could be life-saving?

That was the vision of Nancy Lubin, the CEO and founder of DoSomething.org, which runs campaigns via text like collecting “jeans for teens” who are without a home or bringing dogs to campus so students can…

Anyone who has small children, had small children, or been around small children kjnows–the little ankle-biters are REALLY self-absorbed. I mean, sometimes I feel I could be bleeding-out after being hit by a truck only to look up and see my six-year old ask, “Mommy, you can’t die–who’s going to make dinner?!”

The good news is, most of us outgrow this. The bad news is, some of us don’t.

When it comes to conflict resolution, those of us who are still very self-absorbed…

Ever you ever thought about having a meeting while walking instead of sitting?

Possibly not.

Well, there’s research that might convince you that it’s a great idea.

A 2014 study by Stanford researchers found that walking boosts creativitywhile you are taking your stroll and for a short time thereafter.…

Ever you ever thought about having a meeting while walking instead of sitting?

Possibly not.

Well, there’s research that might convince you that it’s a great idea.

A 2014 study by Stanford researchers found that walking boosts creativitywhile you are taking your stroll and for a short time thereafter.…

I always enjoy having lunch with my friend, Andrea, because she’s been a “big boss” at a big company, and she always has lots of valuable insight about ways to resolve conflict at work (in fact, I wish she had been MY boss when I used to work full-time!).

Today’s conversation took a turn toward women in the workplace. Like many women who have children, I always felt like a “choice” had to be made: Either I continue to work full-time or quit. To be fair, when you work in T.V.…

Today marks the day that we honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., a great man who was a champion of non-violent conflict resolution and tolerance.

My tribute to this remarkable leader is to share with you some of his quotes that resonated with me and are in the spirit of the Olive Branch Blog.

Please take a moment to reflect upon them today and…

I’ve learned a lot about Millenials lately. As a producer for a current events T.V. show, our next installment focuses on Millenials in the Workplace, and as a conflict resolution specialist, I took a keen interest in learning how Millenials handle conflict, especially in the workplace.

Turns out, they handle conflict differently than us Generation Xers or the Baby Boomers. One expert in the field told me he’s observed that Millenials try to handle more conflict on their own,…

A lot of us make resolutions regarding our health when a new year arrives. Losing weight or getting more exercise are often on that list.

But have you ever thought about changing your ways if you are the type of person who bottles up anger … only to explode later?

Many of us think that suppressing our angry emotions is a good thing to do. It creates less disruption and allows us to “move on” in a sort of artificial way.

But then eventually, it…

Don’t you just love the “animal” analogies that are so common in conflict resolution? I do. They help me remember how universal conflict really is–and make me take a step-back and examine how I approach my own conflict.

So, this animal analogy is about the skunk and the turtle, and here’s how you know which one you are:

You’re a skunk if you’re not afraid of conflict. In fact, when skunks are in conflict with someone, they tend to “stink up the place.” By that, I mean…

A hug and a wave. It’s these little gestures that impacted so many people.

These two stories were reported in the news this past weekend.

THE HUG LADY

The “Hug Lady” at Fort Hood passed away at 83 on Christmas Eve. Mrs. Elizabeth Laird, an Air Force veteran herself, …

How many of you have decided to lose 10 pounds by going on a strict diet and exercise regimen–only to realize you can’t possibly keep-up the discipline. Or, maybe you’ve decided to buy ONLY organic food, right down to the ketchup–only to learn that your bank account can’t keep up (I’ve actually tried this and failed).

When it comes to conflict resolution, the same rule applies: don’t over-shoot.

This New Year’s Eve, maybe it’s completely reasonable that you can only…

2015 is drawing to a close and it’s time to think about how to start 2016 with a fresh, new start.

I read a quote some time ago, that the hardest conversations to have are with someone you don’t agree with. So true.

Good conversations are not just for like-minded people though. Those are just the easier ones.

Our world seems to be a place where excluding others makes some feel ‘safer’. Where ridiculing people we don’t agree with is the new…

Merry Christmas Eve readers! For those of you who celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a wonderful holiday. And, for those who celebrate another holiday, I hope you’re enjoying the day-off from work!

I thought I would write a post about mindset during the holidays because so many of us will be surrounded by family and friends, some of whom may instigate conflict for no apparent reason. I was inspired to write about this because a dear friend of mine is planning a vacation with…