Have you ever written a scathing email to someone with whom you’re involved in a conflict? How about made an angry phone call to vent how hurt you are by the other person’s actions?

Well, I have. And, I almost always regret doing it.

That’s because, in addition to making the other person angry, I’ve sometimes lost entire friendships over my hot-headedness. And, as it turns out, all I needed was a little time and perspective, anyway, to get over my…

I was thinking the other day about how information helps you to make better choices.

I frequent Starbucks quite a bit, especially when traveling.  THE best thing that Starbucks has done, for me, is to post the calories for the delectable treats you have to stand by when ordering your coffee.

My favorite was their reduced fat berry cake which they…

So, my Dad and Brother came for a visit last week–and, overall, it was a success. The kids love their “cool” Uncle Kai who is unattached at 42 years-old–no wife, no kids, few responsibilities–and TONS of fun (tube sock wars, music video making, hide-and-seek).

My brother probably didn’t know about my “trigger.” You know what it is–it’s that one subject no one is allowed to criticize, lest…

A few months ago, I wrote a blog post about the 5 ways of handling conflict – it was entitled Turtle, Teddy Bear, Shark, Fox or Owl?

Today, I want to send a little more time talking about the Turtle a.k.a. the ‘Avoider.’…

If you’re anything like me, the “money” portion of the mediation is always…well…uncomfortable. Even though my Dad worked in finance his whole life, and money was often talked about at our dinner table, I still feel “bad” bringing up money, even when it’s the final sticking point in a mediation.

This month’s Neighborhood Mediation Center newsletter hit on the issue and addressed how to get past the hurdle when both parties are stuck in the numbers game, and…

Bullying has been around a long time and it never made sense to me that some kids thought the bullies were cool. How could that be? They intimidate kids and cause them to be fearful. That’s a horrible feeling.

And now, technology offers an easy and ‘faceless’ way to harass kids – everything from spreading rumors about someone online to stealing a student’s account information and sending out hurtful messages from them.

Earlier this month, in my…

In February of every odd year (for the last 20 years), my life changes dramatically.

This marks the beginning of the Nevada legislative session – a time when I leave my personal life behind and embark on a 120 day work journey. It is an amazing time, filled with ups and downs, that puts great demands on my energy level and tests my durability.

About three months before the session starts, I begin to think about it … probably like a runner think about…

Now, get your mind out of the gutter. It’s not what you think!

The answer actually has to do with one of my favorite parts of doing couples therapy–the moment when I get to give the couple a tidbit of seemingly-contradictory information which makes their faces go, “Wha?”I just finished a book entitled, “For Better,” in which the author takes all sorts of myths about love and researches them to see if they’re true. One particular myth is as follows: The…

I wish that a 40 hour mediation class was required to become a parent, boss, team member, husband, wife, neighbor … heck for just about any role in life.  Why?

Because the skills I learned in my first mediation class serve me well every single day.

So many times, I have used them to ‘deescalate’ an escalating situation. You know the kind where people are getting worked up, their ability to hear each other is waning and they are ready to spar … or…

I have a lot of personal experience with transition–I’ve lived in eight states (including the “foreign” island state of Hawaii and two countries), and I can say with certainty that, however exciting change can be, it’s also extraordinarily stressful.

Currently, our family is in the midst of another transition–preparing for our (hopefully) FINAL move in just a few months. And, I’m reminded again of how our “normal” personalities seem to disappear and our…

I have a lot of personal experience with transition–I’ve lived in eight states (including the “foreign” island state of Hawaii and two countries), and I can say with certainty that, however exciting change can be, it’s also extraordinarily stressful.

Currently, our family is in the midst of another transition–preparing for our (hopefully) FINAL move in just a few months. And, I’m reminded again of how our “normal” personalities seem to disappear and our…

I can’t tell you haw many times I hear this before a mediation: “Well, I’ll come … but I really don’t think we can come to ad agreement.”

And you know what?

More often than not, this person , who was so resolute about their prediction of a mediation outcome was … to but it simply … WRONG!!

So, why do people view the prospects of a positive outcome so poorly? Well here are some of my thoughts on that:

First, they are the ones embroiled…

It’s been pretty dreary here in Chicago, this winter. Which, in our family, means movie season!

So, I dragged the kids to see “Into the Woods,” and it didn’t disappoint (but, that’s besides the point!). In the movie, the adult characters repeat the same mantra to “Little Red Riding Hood,” which is “nice doesn’t always mean good.”

I’m sure the screenwriters didn’t expect the mediator in the audience (me) to ponder what he meant for the next hour and…

Today, we celebrate and honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., an amazing man who advanced the African-American Civil Rights Movement through non-violent civil disobedience.

How surprised and sad I was when I read that his children are embroiled in a legal battle over Dr. King’s  personal Bible and his Nobel Peace Prize medal (which he was awarded in October of 1964). They are expected…

I’ve always been a sucker for “Freakonomics” type books, and I recently read one that, frankly, opened my eyes quite a bit. Titled, “The Why Axis,” this book is all about the data behind certain myths. And, the authors tackled one of the biggest myths out there: Women aren’t as competitive as men.

The idea that women are inherently less competitive as men is something I’ve wondered about ever since my first child was born. She is…

I hope I haven’t put off all of the potential readers of this post who are men … because of the picture I chose. Believe me … this post applies to you too. And I bet a lot of women would agree with me.

So, here’s what happened.

I have been going to the same hairdresser for several years now. And most of the time, it seems like we communicate pretty well.

I’m not one of those people who makes dramatic hair color changes but I do have to cover up those…

I knew it would happen: Just a week after all three of my children came down with the flu, I found myself with a fever, chills, and laid up in bed.And, we all know what that means–junk T.V.! Well, I happened to turn on “Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce,” and, as you probably guessed, it’s about divorce. In one episode, the main character and her husband decided to go through divorce mediation. However, after mentioning this to a friend, who shows up but the friend’s…

Taking sides in a conflict, no matter what it is, is the easiest part.  Moving beyond it is hard.Why did I start thinking about this today? Because the Nevada legislature is a mere 28 days away from commencement. And on Saturday, I read a great article in the New York Times entitled:…

It’s 2015!!!

I love the thought of a New Year. I can’t help but think of all the “new” things associated with it: new possibilities, new adventures, and new challenges.I also love thinking of the New Year as a time to be “out with the old.” I have clients who are committed to ending dysfunctional relationships on Dec. 31, and I know others who are ready to say…