When we begin to experience irritation about something happening with another person, our thoughts and feelings sometimes go to places that are not helpful for the situation and relationship with the other person. We may not always be aware of what is exacerbating things, but before we know it our initial responses have taken twists and turns that only serve to complicate matters. As things expand in our minds and hearts, we often find ourselves more and more conflicted, confused, and upset.…

The expression “what is on the lung is on the tongue” causes me to smile, as my mother used to say it about people who say whatever is on their mind – uncensored, unthinkingly, and impulsively. When I searched for an explanation of the derivation and meaning of this expression, I could not find it anywhere. Considering that perhaps my mother came up with the expression gave me even more reason to smile. Knowing her it would appeal to her that she made a rhyming commentary on the nature of…

I like the tune of Adele’s song “Rumour Has It” and there are some lyrics that strike me as relevant to conflict. Consider the lyric “Just ‘cause I said it, don’t mean that I meant it”. This is a great quote relating to conflict though unrelated to Adele’s intention. For me it reflects what often happens in disputes because many of us say things we don’t mean or intend. At these times many of us speak from reactive and emotional places and say and do things that hurt and don’t help the…