When we are competitive, like in interpersonal conflict, we tend to be positional and it is evident we are determined to be the winner. This essentially describes the need to be dominant and fits into today’s blog topic – about getting the upper hand.

There are various suggested origins of this expression. Prominent amongst those is that the phrase originated in American playgrounds, in the way…

It’s not likely that burying our heads in the sand when in conflict helps to solve matters, mend the relationship, or clarify assumptions and perceptions. Sometimes though it may be the best tact.

The expression “bury your head in the sand” apparently comes from the supposed habit of ostriches hiding their heads when faced with an attack by predators. The story was first recorded by the Roman writer Pliny the…

It is likely that most of us are able to specifically refer to some things that ‘put our backs up’ – an expression that describes the impact of being provoked by certain acts or deeds of another person.

The derivation is from the habit of cats arching their backs when threatened or annoyed. It is apparently a colloquial term that came into being in Britain in the 18th century.

If you have a cat you…

Among the fears that some of us have about interpersonal conflict is the loss of something important to us. It may be a fear we will lose what we are fighting for. It may be we fear losing the relationship. We may fear the loss of our position or status. Another loss some of us have when we are in conflict, or when we expect one may evolve, has to do with losing face and experiencing related emotions such as humiliation.

According to one …