There are times when we may say we feel ‘out of control’ when we are in conflict and that means different things to different people. The description of what ‘out of control’ means will differ among us and typically, being out of control is not a positive experience for ourselves or the other person. It seems that this sentiment is expressed when we react strongly to being provoked and say or do things that we consider uncharacteristic and, perhaps, unreasoned, unreasonable and even…

Forgive and forget is one of those common statements said to someone after they have been in a conflict. It may be to encourage them to move on, to not be bothered anymore with what occurred, to stop fretting, to let themselves and the other person ‘off the hook’, and so on. Often this expression is stated flippantly though - out of impatience or lack of understanding. It may be said in sympathy and beseechingly.

What about this expression when it comes to conflict mastery?  Sometimes…

One of the ways many of us deal with interpersonal conflict as soon as we get a whiff of it or it begins to evolve is to take flight. We may want to rise above it and just get away from any of the related tension. Or, we may fear a range of repercussions such as harsh words, upset, hostility, ongoing negativity, and so on. These and other reasons lead many of us to flee!

It takes courage to be in conflict and it takes courage to know when to walk or run away from it, too. A pattern of…

Fighting with others is not a necessary part of being in conflict, though for many people these are synonymous. The inclination to fight is one reaction when we are having an interpersonal disagreement with another person. The situation, the person, the stakes, the degree we perceive the offense, and so on are variables that determine which approach we take when provoked and the extent to which we react. However, it is likely that certain behaviours we have come to use routinely, such as…