Today’s blog is dedicated to whoever created the graphic upon which it is based. I don’t know who you are, so I can’t give you credit. I stumbled upon your thoughts while doing an Internet search for another post.

My brother recently sent me an article about marriage–and, how studies now show that only three in ten married couples are “happily” married. We’ve all heard that half of all marriages fail, but I never thought much about the marriages that are “on paper only.” Until now, that is.

The article (I’ve put a link below) talks about what those three in ten happy marriages have in common–and, it may surprise you what it is. It’s simple kindness. The researchers studied these couples…

The Conflict Triangle

We’ve all done. Instead of talking to the person with whom we are in conflict, we reach out to someone else – a third person.  Hence the name … conflict triangle.

It seems like it’s a good thing to do. It’s comfortable. But is it really a good move?

The…

I’ve started doing something in my therapy room that (I hope) has been helpful to many of my clients. And, now that I think about it, it may be helpful for pretty much anyone involved in a conflict.

I start by asking the client to write a letter to himself (or herself) from his dearest friend…someone who has his best interest in mind and someone who supports them unconditionally. So, for example, if a client has an ongoing conflict with his spouse, I would…

So ... it's happened. You are being drawn into a conflict. Things are going downhill and you can see the pattern - attack and counterattack. You don't want to go there. What can you do???

I found these suggestions in a book entitled "The Seven Challenges Workbook" which is a guide to cooperative communication skills. They are great to practice when you are in a conflict 'emergency.'…

I must admit something: I’ve been known to watch some reality T.V., most of it on the Bravo network. I’m not particularly proud of it, but I’m glad I tuned in the other day because I happened to catch an ad for a new show called, “Untying the Knot.”

I

It’s about a divorce attorney and “top mediator,” and, of course, I HAD to watch!

I caught the first show today, and I watched as a California mediator helped a divorcing couple split up the last three assets in…

Are there words that are so BIG that they get in the way of having a meaningful conversation?

That's what ''always' and 'never' can be.

Have you ever been in this situation? Someone is telling you a story, perhaps because they are annoyed with their child, employee, elderly parent, dog, whoever ... and suddenly it pops out. A 'never' or 'always' phrase like:…

We write an awful lot about conflict resolution (and, why wouldn't we--we're a conflict resolution blog!) But, this post is a little different.It's about conflict itself or, more specifically, the idea that not ALL battles are worth fighting. Yesterday, a friend of mine told me that her husband will likely relocate the family to South Dakota because of Nevada's regulations regarding trust companies.

It's something that's been a possibility for some time, but, now, it seems nearly…

Building conflict resolution skills for children .... that's one of my favorite things to blog about.

Last October, my colleague, Dr. Bob Quilitch, a Reno psychologist, suggested that I write about Teen Timer Talks, a technique he uses for with teenage girls to structure how they have conversation with each other when in conflict.

'Deciding Games' is…