Several years ago I began asking friends, family members, colleagues and clients what stops them from trying different things to be able to improve how they manage conflict. Of course, their answers varied.

While situations and those involved elicit different reactions, the people I questioned typically recounted a number of things they would have done differently. Others were unable to contemplate what would have made things better. Some people said they were not sure whether they…

I don’t recall the first time I heard the expression “telling tales out of school”. When I searched for the meaning of this expression, I discovered this specific statement is the oldest of three expressions of the same ilk (“talking out of school” and “speaking out of school”). The same source says, “The usual meaning is, don’t gossip indiscreetly or reveal private matters, secrets or confidences”, which is likely…

You have likely heard the expression “pick your battles” and know the gist of its meaning. I have said this at times to friends and colleagues who find themselves in a number of disagreements about a number of matters – each appear to have different intensities and weights of importance to them.

Out of curiosity I looked up the meaning. According to this source,…

When in conflict we commonly turn our negative energy on the other person in various ways. Examples may be by gossiping about her or him, blaming, name-calling, and generally saying counterproductive and mean-spirited things to and about her or him. The irony of the expression, “When you throw dirt, you lose ground” (credited as a Texan proverb) is not lost on those of us aiming to…