Have you ever heard this idiom – ‘you could cut the air with a knife’? Generally-speaking, it is a term that describes a tense situation between people and, at times, there is a sense of foreboding that something unpleasant is about to happen. When I looked up the derivation I did not find a lot to draw from. However, here is one commentator’s attempt at a physiological explanation:

“I suggest…

One of the ways that some people manage conflict is by using the ‘silent treatment’. This expression refers to “Maintenance of aloof silence toward another as an expression of one’s anger or disapproval”. The same source says this phrase is “a deliberate discourteous act”.

There may be a number of reasons for using the silent treatment – and some intentions may be like those for letting the other person…

There are times in our interpersonal conflicts that – after the fact – we state things like, “I wish I hadn’t said that”. This is along the lines of “If I had it to do over”. It is often a statement made when we acknowledge that something we said triggered off a reaction in the other person that served no purpose except maybe to escalate the dispute. When we are…

The other day a colleague (I’ll call her Janet) told me she and a co-worker (I’ll call him David) had a heated disagreement about a work matter. Janet went on to say that David called her a few hours after and left a contrite message asking to have a coffee and work things out. She then told me she decided not to reply for a few days to let David “stew in his own juices” for a while. When I asked what she means by that, Janet answered, “I thought I’d just let him feel badly a little longer…

On a recent post on the Conflict Coaching Guild on LinkedIn I posed the following question:

“Generally-speaking, a common reaction - when we are provoked by something another person says or does (or doesn't say or do) - is to make assumptions about their motive, character, etc.

This tendency often heightens in intensity and malevolence if the perceived offense is repeated and our emotional reaction increases.

However, why do you suppose we do not check…