I have spent most of my adult life working with people that are in a crisis of some kind. They find their way to me to resolve conflict, internal or external. And in all that time of working with people in this way, I have found that there is one thing that is more toxic to the system than anything else: keeping secrets.

I think often of this time, years ago, when I was invited to a Dim Sum brunch by my brother-in-law with his Chinese guru. In attendance were several other students of…

What can you do when faced with a conflict avoidant leader? Join us in a fast-paced discovery conversation of the avoidant personality symptoms as we explore how to work with and support them. Walk away with insight and techniques to master this frustrating phenomenon in the workplace AND personal relationships.

Rachel Schaming:

Organizational and…

Heather Hui-Litwin volunteers as a duty counsel with Law Help Ontario, offering assistance to civil litigants in the Toronto courts. Heather’s personal experience as a self-represented litigant in a civil lawsuit means that she has a unique understanding of and empathy for the needs of SRLs. Read More

At the ABA's DR conference in Miami, an initiative that had started the previous year turned into a tradition: Several dozen teachers offered each other use of their teaching materials to enhance each others' classrooms. It was such a wonderful environment to be in, and offered a great packet of take-aways for teachers. Below, is a write up of the materials shared, complete with links you can use to access them if these were available. Also see the…

SAN JOSE, CALIF. – April 29, 2014 – Modria, provider of the world’s leading online dispute resolution (ODR) platform, announced today that it has acquired Netherlands-based Juripax B.V., an online mediation software provider. Juripax has the leading European online dispute resolution platform, helping mediators and dispute resolvers, companies, and consumers resolve disputes…

The Texas Conflict Coach® Blog Talk Radio program announces the following episodes starting in the month of May, held every Tuesday night from 5:00-5:30 pm PST/7:00-7:30 pm CST/8:00-8:30 pm EST.

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May 6th:  The Gratitude Opportunity…

How many people does it take to have a conflict?

That's one of the questions we ask in our Beginning Mediation and Conflict Resolution class. Often students respond with "two," but the answer in fact is only "one."

When one person decides that things are not OK and seeks change ... that's when the spark of conflict is ignited. If the other person is fine with it, then the conflict goes away and they move on. But if the other person doesn't agree to the change, then there's more…

If you'd like to know more about transformative mediation, here's a free chance to learn from some of the leaders in the field.  Read about these free teleconferences here.

A post on my blog at:http://peaceandconflictpolitics.com/ The post deals with issues in the reframing extremist messages.

Read this great blog post by on Indisputably, by Jen Reynolds at University of Oregon School of Law. Jen describes an exercise that she presented at the ABA’s recent conference, which aimed at helping students develop “critical patience”, which dispute resolution practitioners need so much. Sure, we say “patience is very, very important” all the time – but how do we teach it, or help our students develop…

So, many of you know that I just started a new job as a Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice, and I could name off a million reasons why I chose to accept the position.

But, one reason was this: The company offers pre- and post-baby counseling for couples, something I always thought is sorely needed.

In fact, after I visited my Sister, her husband, and my newborn…

Have you had the experience when a friend, colleague or family member tries to impose their beliefs, needs, values, or expectations on you regarding a way you handled a situation? I have never been fussy about sentences that start with “You should have...” and then a pronouncement of what the speaker thinks would have been more appropriate. Of course, it may well be that I did not use my strongest conflict mastery skills at these times. Yet, I am not meaning to share what happened so that I…

Someone makes an inappropriate comment, maybe a racist or sexist joke. You feel uncomfortable and hope that someone else will speak up. Everyone hopes that someone else will speak up. Uncomfortable silence falls. What does it take for active bystanders to speak up? When they do so, they can often avert brewing conflict. Learn more about how people can become active bystanders…

Check this out: http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2419712

I've always thought that end-of-course activities should go far beyond the classic wrap-up – a teacher reviewing what s/he thinks was included on the curriculum…

Have you ever sat in a meeting and thought to yourself ... I don't really know anything about these people beyond their name and role in whatever project or issue that brought us together?

So what triggered this random idea for today's blog?

Well, I had the chance to drive a colleague to the airport in Las Vegas last week. We got stuck in traffic and so we had more time than usual for conversation. Even though we have been working together for almost a year, I really don't know…

 

March 2014

 

 

Greetings All:…

I have the utmost respect for those in the customer service industry. Seriously. They have to deal with cranky callers all the time, and I include myself among them.The other day, I was especially geared up for a fight when I called the customer service number for the I-Pass (the toll agency here in Illinois). I had received a letter in the mail stating that I had not paid two tolls, which I KNOW I did because I had the bank statement to prove it. And, boy, was I gonna let that customer…

I have been thinking about when I hear someone explaining their rationale for saying or doing something that has upset or provoked me or another person. I realize that at times it sounds like an excuse and at other times it sounds like a reason. You may ask what difference does it make?

Providing reasons or excuses in our conflict interactions often seem to arise during the course of a dispute or after it is over. At these times, we - or the other person - may give a reason or excuse…