One of the things that happens when an interpersonal conflict begins to brew is a need to decide whether or not to raise the issue, concern, etc. with the other person. And how and when to do so, if that is the choice we make. This conundrum is often complicated for those who have a tendency to ‘bottle things up’ which essentially translates into containing thoughts and feelings and a hesitancy to share what is happening.

Let’s take the imagery of bottling things up a little further…

Rage is a word that describes a strong emotion that sometimes evolves when we are in conflict. It is not necessarily an immediate reaction. Rather, it is one that often signals an escalation of feelings such as anger and hurt about a person and/or an issue. The build-up erupts into a state of being furious, incensed, and out of control of our words, thoughts, and emotions.

This week’s blog considers that rage, like some other ‘four-letter words’ stated fiercely, is an extreme…

It is common in the midst of conflict that we become more assertive about our perspective - especially when the other person is equally or more assertive about hers or his. One or both of us may push our viewpoints to the extent that things escalate and stronger feelings evolve – accompanied by even more push back. It is as though both of us are convinced and have to convince the other that our view is the perfect and correct one.

The expression ‘a clash of imperfect ideas’ is one I…

As long as I can remember when I heard people yell at each other, or one person yelling at someone, I reacted internally with fear. I do not know how to articulate my fears. I just know there was something unnerving for me. When I began to work in the conflict management field I was increasingly exposed to situations in which people yelled and I became more and more aware of the range of things that seemed to incite people to scream at one another. To do my work effectively, I reflected on…