I’ve always felt better when things are “black and white.” And, according to the research, most of us appreciate “closure” or decisiveness and feel less anxious when things are certain. But, since I’m a therapist, I’ve trained myself to tolerate feel O.K. in the “gray” area and help others who don’t like that in-between place, either.

The new book I’m reading, “Nonsense: The Power of Not Knowing” by Jamie Holmes examines our anxiety with uncertainty, and I’ve learned a lot…

How can you know someone for 20 years and not know his name?

And then one day, he helps you in a HUGE way and saves your day!

That’s what happened to me at the Reno-Tahoe Airport one dark morning while waiting for the ‘commuter’ flight to Las Vegas.

I had broken my routine that morning. I had plugged my phone to the car – and you guessed it, I left it attached to the cable.

I didn’t realize it until way past the security…

When it comes to divorce, not a lot of attention gets paid to the parents of the child getting divorced. But, it can be difficult to watch your child experience the pain of divorce and equally as difficult to say good-bye to your daughter-in-law or son-in-law (in most cases, anyway!)

Since I’m always trying to help my clients navigate divorce, an article originally published in the Chicago Tribune caught my eye. In it, the author addresses the not-so-often-addressed…

“How Asking 5 Questions Allowed Me to Eat Dinner with My Kids”

I was intrigued when I read this headline. Why wasn’t this family eating together?

2 parents with busy work schedules. 2 kids with a babysitter who doles out snacks when they were starving. And lots of good intentions that slipped by week after…

You hear the stories all the time–the ones about high-conflict divorce and the toll it can take on the children, the divorcing individuals, and even the friends and families involved. High-conflict divorce is never good for anyone, and yet, thousands of divorcing couples somehow find themselves in this kind of conflictual relationship.

I thought I would learn more about this, errr, interesting dynamic and found a great article in the Huffington Post outlining 5 facts about…

Being a lobbyist means that people you know (or have just met) want to talk politics with you, which I am happy to do … because I want to know what people are thinking and why.

They are laying the foundation, person by person, for how our community and country feels about our challenges and direction.

I am completely overwhelmed by the number of people who have told me that they are tired — so very tired of the…

Have we overused the term “self-care” yet? I know it sounds a bit therapy-ish, but self-care really is just that: caring for oneself. And, it turns out–during conflict, self-care is essential.

I’ve recently been reminded of this by a friend who’s going through some major upheaval in her marriage. It’s falling apart, to be honest. And, she’s found herself in a position that presents two choices: I either allow myself to sink into despair OR I take care of myself and use this…

I have two nieces getting married this summer and naturally, they are very excited – creating wedding websites and making plans. And I certainly don’t want to rain on their special day …

however, we all know that hard times can also be hard of a marriage. And sometimes there will be disagreements and probably some fights too.…

“How old are you feeling right now?” It’s a question I often ask my clients, especially when a couple is in the midst of an argument in my office. Why? Because oftentimes, we don’t realize that, in the middle of conflict, we revert right back to our childhood.

It may sound a bit psychodynamic, but when two people are arguing, they often don’t realize that they’re behaving like the child or adolescent they “thought” they had said good-bye to years ago.

For example, let’s…