Some research on the expression “mending fences” indicates that the derivation is from the proverb “Good fences make good neighbours”. It is apparently listed by the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations as a mid-17th century idiom. My source states that Robert Frost gave the proverb a boost in his 1914 poem “Mending Walls” when he used the above expression to essentially mean rebuilding previously good relationships. There was a slight…

The metaphor of an iceberg has commonly been used as a metaphor about conflict. This is on the basis that there are things above the surface that show themselves and then, there is all that is going on underneath. Compared to conflict, some things are obvious to the disputants (and often others) that reflect the dynamic between them, the issues in dispute, and other aspects of the existing dissension. These are above the water ‘line’.

Below the water line is much more. There are…

I smile when I hear the expression “Don’t get your panties in a knot” and another variation like “Don’t get your knickers in a knot”. My brief research to discover the meaning yielded only that it originated from “some silliness” on The Basil Brush Show – a British television program in the 60’s. The general meaning appears to be about telling people to not get excited or upset by something. It is common when some people are in…

The phrase “nip it in the bud” is apparently derived from the de-budding of plants. The earlier form of the phrase was “nip in the bloome [sic]” and was cited in a romantic piece by Henry Chettle in 1595. It seems a sad origin, thinking of a flowering romance being nipped and prevented from blossoming. On the other hand, nipping of flower buds can facilitate repeat growth.

If we apply this notion of nipping it in the bud to conflict and consider firstly that it is a good thing to let…

There is something that doesn’t quite work about the expression, “You make me so angry” (or sad, disappointed, depressed, etc.). That is, none of us can really make someone an emotion. We may act or speak in ways that result in others experiencing negative feelings. Or, others may do or say things to which we react. However, in both cases we don’t and they don’t actually make the emotion happen.

This may sound as though I am ‘splitting hairs’. However, in my view, the notion inherent…