Negative emotions arise all too frequently in our daily lives, feelings such as anger, irritation, fear, confusion and worry, to name a few. These emotions trigger stress and simultaneously block our ability to feel grounded and centered. They also negatively impact our health. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a powerful, fast, portable and easy to use tool to handle…

Find it difficult to get people to trust you online? Email negotiations or conversations end up in flame wars? There are reasons, and solutions, for this.

I’ve uploaded my first paper on this subject at http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1722065.   A few years have gone by, and the principles hold firm.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

The Origins of Deep Conflict

As I prepare to become a conflict specialist,  I will be charged with the task of listening ... really, deeply listening. Conflict specialists in any discipline are not to guess of the content of someone’s conflict. We are to understand and to do that we need to listen and then ask the right questions so we can more fully understand.

I have been observing the sound bites, blogs, posts, news stories, conversations, and bewilderment…

Virtuoso sitarist Ravi Shankar passed away this week.  George Harrison called him the father of world music, for introducing the sitar to the west...

...and to the Beatles.  I recently gave a presentation on the…

The expression “what is on the lung is on the tongue” causes me to smile, as my mother used to say it about people who say whatever is on their mind – uncensored, unthinkingly, and impulsively. When I searched for an explanation of the derivation and meaning of this expression, I could not find it anywhere. Considering that perhaps my mother came up with the expression gave me even more reason to smile. Knowing her it would appeal to her that she made a rhyming commentary on the nature of…

Professor Rachel Monaco-Wilcox of Mount Mary University reviewed Transformative Mediation:  A Sourcebook and found that it was accessible to non-mediators and helpful to anyone interested in conflict.  You can read her whole review in my latest blog entry here.

This program highlights the works of Rebecca Shafir, neurotherapist and speech and language pathologist. She is author of the book, “The Zen of Listening: Mindful Communication in the Age of Distraction.” We will explore listening myths, the 4 characteristics of being a mindful listener, examine listening stoppers, and tips for listening to…

When the significance of having over 1500 people participate in an online conference sunk in, I needed to explore what brought them there. Of course, individual motivations differ, but by talking to people from different backgrounds, some themes emerged. The bottom line: There are more reasons for you to participate than you imagined.

I’ve already told the story of what went on at Cyberweek 2012 in previous blog posts,…

Yesterday, animal mediation specialist Debra Voda Vey Hamilton interviewed me for an upcoming telesummit she’s producing. This is one of the stories I told.

When I was fresh out…

I like the tune of Adele’s song “Rumour Has It” and there are some lyrics that strike me as relevant to conflict. Consider the lyric “Just ‘cause I said it, don’t mean that I meant it”. This is a great quote relating to conflict though unrelated to Adele’s intention. For me it reflects what often happens in disputes because many of us say things we don’t mean or intend. At these times many of us speak from reactive and emotional places and say and do things that hurt and don’t help the…

Our conversation will focus on what to do to prepare for those family gatherings so that you don't lose your cool.

• Have you ever felt you have to perform like Martha Stewart and be the perfect hostess?
• Or, maybe you wanted to start a new tradition but it is met with resistance because “we’ve always done it this way!”
• Do you get tired of the constant battle of who to visit, so instead you rush around to 3 or 4 family households in a day? Exhausting!
• We…

I must admit, I am intrigued by the constant potential convergence of mediation and technology.  I recently came across a press release from Colin Rule's new company, Modria.  They offer a dispute resolution process for internet based conflicts.  If you don't know Colin (really?), he's the guy who set up PayPal and Ebay's dispute resolution program that handled millions of a complaints.

So what is Modria? from the…

Where do we learn more: Onstage, or Behind the …

I am definitely an unofficial advocate of conflict resolution professionals using and embracing technology for all different reasons.  This includes keeping up to date with news and research, networking, and raising awareness of your name and services.

The story out of the Federal Mediation and Conciliation Services offers some caution to embracing technology.  One of FMCS mediators had to be removed from the NHL mediation session due to, according to an article:

full…

Way back in 2008, Dan Druckman and I began to explore an issue that had tickled each of us – separately – for a long time:

Students participating in simulation-games seem to learn a lot about negotiation, but we had the feeling that people writing simulation games (including ourselves) learned even more. We conducted several rounds of experiments aimed at exploring this notion – with some very surprising findings.

An article summarizing our full findings will be…

The Holidays and Scheduled Parenting

The holidays present special problems for separated or divorced parents with respect to scheduling time with the children. It's nothing that creativity, flexibility and yes, Google, can't overcome. Read more about scheduling parenting over the holidays... Or …

The General Meeting of the NJAPM next week will offer an "Intro to Ombuds: the Profession & the People." Organizers promise a panel of distinguished Ombuds featuring International Ombudsman Association President Nicholas Diehl. In addition, there will be briefing on the new ABA Ombuds Task Force. The event takes place at the New Jersey Law Center in New Brunswick on Wednesday, December 5, 2012, 6:00 pm – 8:15 pm.



NJAPM is the largest New Jersey mediation organization with over…

The Fortune 200, global oilfield services company headquartered in North Houston, Texas opened an Organizational Ombuds Office (“o3”) in September to serve employees in the U.S., and Trinidad and Tobago. The o3 team is led by a Principal Ombuds and includes an Ombuds, coordinator, and information specialist.



According to a company announcement, Baker Hughes chose to create the o3 from its ongoing interest in creating the best possible workplace and employee experience. To customize…