My brother recently sent me an article about marriage–and, how studies now show that only three in ten married couples are “happily” married. We’ve all heard that half of all marriages fail, but I never thought much about the marriages that are “on paper only.” Until now, that is.

The article (I’ve put a link below) talks about what those three in ten happy marriages have in common–and, it may surprise you what it is. It’s simple kindness. The researchers studied these couples…

The expression “fed up” has several meanings. One source states: “To have had more than enough of something or someone, or to be bored with or tired of the same.” The same source says that the expression dates back to the early 19th century when reportedly “the languid aristocracy were compared to farm animals that were force fed to make them plump for market”.

The phrase later became part of the general…

When to compromise and when to hold fast to our principles is one of the most difficult challenges we face when dealing with conflict. Listen in on June 24 at 8 pm Eastern as mediator, professor and author Bernie Mayer considers how these two values…

The Texas Conflict Coach® Blog Talk Radio program announces the following episodes starting in the month of July held every Tuesday night from 5:00-5:30 pm…

"What's Happening in Conflict Resolution" is a weekly round up of the all the ADR news, jobs, events and more. Check it out each week and view past versions [HERE].…

The Conflict Triangle

We’ve all done. Instead of talking to the person with whom we are in conflict, we reach out to someone else – a third person.  Hence the name … conflict triangle.

It seems like it’s a good thing to do. It’s comfortable. But is it really a good move?

The…

(Originally posted at the Crisis Negotiator Blog)

Crisis and hostage negotiator's are involved in situations that are tense, stressful, and anxiety-filled.  In order to try to reduce the overwhelming emotions being experienced by the person they are trying to help, the negotiator's tone of voice is an important tool that can help move the conversation toward a…

I’ve started doing something in my therapy room that (I hope) has been helpful to many of my clients. And, now that I think about it, it may be helpful for pretty much anyone involved in a conflict.

I start by asking the client to write a letter to himself (or herself) from his dearest friend…someone who has his best interest in mind and someone who supports them unconditionally. So, for example, if a client has an ongoing conflict with his spouse, I would…

This week’s ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) blog is not about cooking, though the title and the metaphor seems to conjure up the picture of soups and stews simmering on top of a stove. When it comes to conflict the expression – stirring the pot – is defined by one source as “to cause unrest or dissent”. It is an idiomatic way to explore what some of us do when we disagree with a decision, or it may be what we do in…

We have all experienced the drama when we engage in destructive and dysfunctional conflict. It is draining, damaging and downright unhealthy. Zena Zumeta will talk with the Texas Conflict Coach, Pattie Porter to discuss her new Minibuk…

"What's Happening in Conflict Resolution" is a weekly round up of the all the ADR news, jobs, events and more. Check it out each week and view past versions [HERE].…

So ... it's happened. You are being drawn into a conflict. Things are going downhill and you can see the pattern - attack and counterattack. You don't want to go there. What can you do???

I found these suggestions in a book entitled "The Seven Challenges Workbook" which is a guide to cooperative communication skills. They are great to practice when you are in a conflict 'emergency.'…

I must admit something: I’ve been known to watch some reality T.V., most of it on the Bravo network. I’m not particularly proud of it, but I’m glad I tuned in the other day because I happened to catch an ad for a new show called, “Untying the Knot.”

I

It’s about a divorce attorney and “top mediator,” and, of course, I HAD to watch!

I caught the first show today, and I watched as a California mediator helped a divorcing couple split up the last three assets in…

As a mediation trainer for fifteen years, I must have had these words come out of my mouth thousands of times: Don’t try to fix it for them. As anyone that trains mediators knows, problem solving is such a hard habit to break when you are first starting out. You listen intently to what the parties have to say and the predicament that they find themselves in and when you…

I haven’t heard this expression – get your goat – for a while and since writing this blog I have become intrigued with such idioms. This one typically refers to the reaction when someone does something that provokes, infuriates, or annoys us. According to one source the origin is described as follows:

“The dictionary definition of goat is 'a ruminant quadruped of the genus Capra'. What's that got to do…

The Alliance for Peacebuilding (AfP) is seeking to create a new Affinity Group for international mediators. The International Mediators’ Community of Practice (IMCP) will provide an informal platform for…

For some of us the experience of being in conflict is daunting! We have learned through our families of origin, friends, teachers, and other sources how to manage our interpersonal disputes, including trial and error which are often our main teachers. The quest for engaging more effectively in conflict commonly begins when we realize our usual approaches are no longer…

Are there words that are so BIG that they get in the way of having a meaningful conversation?

That's what ''always' and 'never' can be.

Have you ever been in this situation? Someone is telling you a story, perhaps because they are annoyed with their child, employee, elderly parent, dog, whoever ... and suddenly it pops out. A 'never' or 'always' phrase like:…

"What's Happening in Conflict Resolution" is a weekly round up of the all the ADR news, jobs, events and more. Check it out each week and view past versions [HERE].…

We write an awful lot about conflict resolution (and, why wouldn't we--we're a conflict resolution blog!) But, this post is a little different.It's about conflict itself or, more specifically, the idea that not ALL battles are worth fighting. Yesterday, a friend of mine told me that her husband will likely relocate the family to South Dakota because of Nevada's regulations regarding trust companies.

It's something that's been a possibility for some time, but, now, it seems nearly…