Tipping Point week one
I think non-verbal cues can help set the tone of a mediation. As man coaches and teachers have told me in the past, it is all about attitude. Giving your best effort, and believing in the mediation process should translate through your nonverbal cues.I suppose the contrary is certainly true. Going into a mediation with negative nonverbal cues will definitely fail.
One way to make sure your nonverbal communication is effective, at least long term, is to monitor your actions throughout the mediation process. Before the start, have a goal on what you would like to accomplish, and the tone you would like to reflect. Obviously, during the mediation, make needed changes to the tone and cues you would like to see to accomplish your goal. After the mediation, go over your goals, monitor which ones you did you well and which ones you would like to improve on.
One way my speech teacher had us improve our non-verbal communication was to record our selves talk. I know this could prove to be difficult with the privacy issues of mediation. However, it was the best way to see what I really do.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lynsee Swisher on
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Hi Matt.
I just had this conversation with a friend about not just recording ourselves talk but using video to analyze our communication style. Friends of mine have struggled for many years with communication. So, they had the idea to video their conversations. The husband shared with me that it was very telling to watch his nonverbal cues. By muting the sound, he noticed a variety of things that he was unaware of but realized that his actions would make anyone frustrated. After they both watched the video together both muted and with sound, they shared that just watching their communication had been more helpful than listening to it again.
They both realized that they each did things that made the other mad just through nonverbal but had no idea they were doing it.
As mediators, we could take a more in depth look at our own non verbal by using video or even asking others to observe us.
Like you said Matt, monitoring our actions is important and I believe can either help or hinder the mediation process.
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