Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by John C. Turley on February 19, 2011 at 3:26pm

Lynsee:

 

You make a number of excellent points.  It is more difficult to realize what we are communicating non verbally.  We usually focus our attention on the other person or persons to read their "tells."  I was recently responding to a vague open ended question during an interview when the hiring manager glanced at his watch.  To me, this was the kiss of death.  I asked him point blank if I answered his question directly or was I rambling too long.  He answered in the positive, so maybe my non verbal ques sent him to his watch.  I became more self conscious of my answers and made them even more concise as the interview progressed.  Something was definitely wrong at this point in our exchange.  I sensed it.

Short of directly asking him why he looked at his watch, he did not appear to be focused on the interview.  I picked up on his disposition during our initial handshake.  The chemistry was not right in the first 5 seconds of our initial meeting.  In addition to the watch incident, he looked out the window as he replied to one of my questions.  I did not get the job but was told that I was a close second.  This outcome did not surprise me since I sensed that the fit between me and my future boss was not right.  I could tell without words being exchanged that I was not his first choice.  His non verbals spoke volumes to me.  On the abverse side, I probably revealed much to him.  He was boring, and his questions were pedestrian.  I bet I let him know my true feelings from my eyes and one or two twitches of my nose or a bite of my lower lip.  I will be more careful the next time.  Thanks for the coaching and counseling on this important subject.

JCT