You spread out the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle without a picture to guide you as to what the completed puzzle should look like. 

What factors do you consider as you attempt to fit the pieces together?

Image from Uno Public Ar Project

 A crime is committed in the middle of the day on a busy city street.  The police arrive, secure the scene and begin interviewing witnesses.  The witnesses’ descriptions of the incident vary and even contradict each other.  How do we decide “what happened”?

In each of these scenarios, there is a combination of known, unknown and/or possibly conflicting information.  How do we piece together what we know (or think we know) to create a complete picture?  How do we determine what we don’t know and whether we need more information?  If we need additional information, where and how will we obtain it? 

Psychiatrist Carl Jung opined that when our minds are active, we alternate between two functions:

1) taking in information and

2) making decisions about what that information means.  

However, between taking information in and making decisions about it, another activity occurs: we make inferences and assumptions.  These inferences and assumptions derive from a myriad of sources including our life experiences, personality type, values, beliefs and needs.  Information we obtain from others is also likely to be based on inferences and assumptions.  If the information doesn’t support our understandings, we may reflect and reconsider our conclusion, or we may reactively disregard any unsupportive information.

 Eventually, and in many cases very quickly, we determine “the facts” of a situation by gathering information and relying on inferences and assumptions to fill in any gaps.  We qualify these facts as reality - and respond or react accordingly.  In her book The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, author Jane Wagner wrote “Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.”  Just a humorous thought or is there some truth in it?        

Consider this scenario:

A co-worker confides in you and describes an upsetting situation regarding his supervisor, Mary.  The co-worker says: “I just can’t take Mary’s disrespectful and demeaning treatment any longer.  I think she’s trying to sabotage my career with this organization.  I’m not sleeping and I’m having health issues. My doctor says they are related to on-the-job stress.  What should I do?” 

What factors may determine your reaction?  Your position in the workplace hierarchy?  Whether you personally know, or have any history with the employees involved?  Do you indicate belief/disbelief of the employee’s description of the incident?  Do you offer support or give advice?  Do you deflect the issue believing “There are always two sides to every story”?  Do you call for an in-depth investigation of the situation based on the company’s zero-tolerance harassment policy?

If you saw signs of workplace bullying, would you recognize them?  What would you do?

At this year’s ACR Conference, we’ll be examining the variety of ways destructive interpersonal behavior presents in the workplace.  We’ll consider the spectrum of interventions and their effectiveness.  We’ll also provide information about an approach to workplace bullying that may be new to you, a highly effective model known as “Boss Whispering.” 

In an interactive format, we’ll consider a number of scenarios, determine whether they constitute workplace bullying and guide you through the decision-making process to address these situations productively.  Our collective experience with abrasive behavior in both the public and private sectors will assist you in recognizing workplace bullying and making decisions regarding how to approach it effectively. 

Visit the ACR Conference website [HERE].

See the presentation "When It’s Not Just a Personality Conflict: Effective Interventions into Workplace Bullying" on Oct. 9th, 3 - 5 pm.

Pattie Porter, LCSW, is the Founder and Owner of Conflict Connections®, Inc. and The Texas Conflict Coach® radio show.  A full-time conflict management practitioner since 1994, she provides a spectrum of conflict intervention services to government agencies, private businesses and universities.  She is working towards her accreditation through the Boss Whispering® Institute and is a senior trainer and coach-mentor of the CINERGY Conflict Coaching model.  Pattie teaches conflict coaching as an adjunct professor at Southern Methodist University’s Graduate Dispute Resolution Program.  Finally, she is the author of the MiniBük® Stop the Dreaded Drama: 55 Tips for Ending Destructive Conflict.

Melissa Marosy, PhD, is the Executive Officer of Creative Conflict Resolution, a USDA-Forest Service Enterprise Unit, operating as an intrapreneur within the federal government since 1998.  She is a full-time professional mediator, facilitator, and coach specializing in conflict prevention and resolution in the workplace.  She is a certified transformative mediator and an accredited Boss Whisperer®.

Debra Healy, MS, owner of agree2agree – Healy Conflict Management Services, is a conflict consultant in the area of workplace and organizational conflict.  She provides conflict assessments and integrative interventions including mediation, facilitation and coaching to eliminate destructive workplace conflict.  Debra has a master’s degree in Conflict Management/Dispute Resolution and a bachelor’s degree in Legal Studies, giving her a unique understanding of conflict and its impact on interpersonal workplace relations and successful organizational functioning.  Debra is also an accredited Boss Whisperer®.