Is it better to start with the biggest issues, then work out the ancillary or other smaller issues? Or will you be better off sorting out a bunch of smaller issues before taking on the big one?

Yes.

The upside of starting with the biggest issue in conflict resolution is that ancillary issues may no longer matter once the main issue is resolved, or they’ll seem easier to sort out. The downside is that the big issue is often the most difficult and starting there could lead to early frustration and temptation to throw in the towel.

The upside of starting with smaller issues is that a series of “quick wins” together can set a solid foundation of teamwork and hope for tackling the bigger issue(s). If you read my first book, Making Mediation Your Day Job, you may recall a story by my friend and colleague,Susanne Terry, called The Thousand-Link Crossing. It’s about the value of small yesses. The downside of starting with smaller issues is that it can feel like you’re postponing the “real” work and leave you feeling like you’re not accomplishing a great deal.

There is, as you see, no rule. When I’m teaching mediators to master their craft, I tell them it’s a judgment call born in the moment.

Is the big issue so overwhelming that those involved can’t see past it to work on smaller issues? Start with the big issue, then. Would those involved get some relief by seeing the success that comes from sorting out the smaller issues? Start with the smaller issues, then.

And if you realize you picked wrong, no one will leap out of the woodwork and force you to continue on that path. Pick something else and move on.

Ok, your turn: How do you decide where to begin?

Photo credit: Jonas Nilsson Lee