I actually had a different topic in mind for today’s post, but that one will have to wait. Yesterday, I saw an article in the paper about a survey published by Highlights magazine called “The State of the Kid” and I just had to write about it.

If you are the parent of a child between the ages of 6 and 12 (or younger), you need to read the…

It’s the third week in October, and that means one thing: It’s Conflict Resolution Day!

According to Mediate.com, The Association for Conflict Resolution came up with the idea in 2005, and here’s what the day is all about:

• Promote awareness of mediation, arbitration, conciliation and other creative, peaceful means of resolving…

Several months ago, I had the difficult task of needing to give someone bad news. She didn’t live in my area, so I had to do it by phone.

I looked up her phone number and wrote it on a sticky note. And then I attached it to the console of my car and drove around with it for several weeks!!! Even on a vacation. It fell down so many times and I dutifully stuck it back on … knowing that sooner or later, I needed to pick up that phone.

Fortunately, the…

I had a new experience the other day–and, it wasn’t pleasant. I actually had an apology ungraciously  rejected…and it felt really bad. Really bad.I’ll give you a little backstory–my five year-old son and a friend from class have what you would call a “volatile relationship.” What I mean by this is that one provokes the other, they scuffle a lot, then make up. Scuffle again. Compete for Alpha Male. You know the drill.

Well, it happened again in class. This…

 was on vacation last week and had more time to watch the news than usual. Gosh, it’s so hard to watch the news sometimes. So much strife going on in the world.

So, I thought it was time to write about a wonderful project that works on planting ‘seeds of peace.’

Seeds of…

It’s funny–for the better part of my mediation training, I’ve had discussions with fellow mediators about how few people choose mediation, especially during divorce. And, what a shame that more people don’t know about the benefits of divorce mediation–or even collaborative divorce.

However, the word is out–at least in our office. In my six months at this private practice, every couple that has considered divorce has decided to do so OUT of the court system! To be sure, some couples…

Earlier this year, I signed up for an online presentation about ‘Energy Management.’ I thought now that sounds interesting … I need a lot of energy to get everything done – maybe I could be doing things better.

It turns out that the program was about the kind of energy you bring to a conflict (into a room, as I call it), not the kind that keeps you…

My supervisor and I were chatting the other day, and I was lamenting about clients who always seem to bring someone into session. She nodded and said, “yep, they need a wingman.”I hadn’t really thought about it in the broader perspective (I was just getting annoyed), but she was right. Some people in conflict need a wingman. And, it got me thinking about whether this is a good–or bad–thing.…

It’s been another exhausting week of tantrums and crying spells before school, courtesy of my five year-old son. But, I think I’ve finally figured out the problem: Change.Turns out, he’s plagued by the same thing so many grown-ups struggle with: The idea that change is scary.

So, we’ve modified our narrative a bit–in addition to acknowledging that change can be scary, we’re talking a lot about how change can be exciting, too!…

I bet when you’re in conflict, your first reaction is to think – “If only he/she would stop doing that (whatever it is) … things would be better.” I know I do that. It’s amazing how much that empowers the other person and takes all of the power away from you to change the situation.

In her book, The Conflict Pivot, author Tammy Lenski makes the case that conflict…

First, please let me confess that the title of this post was not my creative idea.  I read it in a book called The Conflict Pivot – Turning Conflict into Peace of Mind by Tammy Lenski.

The book really made sense to…

I love my job for a myriad of reasons, but one reason is that it always gives me inspiration for this blog!

Sure enough, this morning, it happened again.

I had a client come in who is young, ambitious, and passionate about his future career in education. Problem is, he’s gotten the run-around from his University regarding which classes to take and which he can skip. To boot, he has “philosophical” differences with many of the teaching methods he’s…

The first time I heard this story, I hadn’t taken mediation training yet. Now I can appreciate it sooo much more. Please hang in there with me … it’s worth it.It’s September 1978 and President Jimmy Carter is working hard at Camp David to keep all of the parties at the table for the Middle East Peace Talks. You can imagine how tricky that was … with more stumbling blocks than…

It happens all the time. A couple will come to me for marriage counseling, and I can see the fear in the husband’s eyes as soon as he figures out that this “Britt” isn’t a man.It’s not that he’s necessarily sexist, but I can so much as hear the voice in his head that says, “Great, now these two women are going to gang up on me.”

A recent…

Does ‘being right’ have consequences?

Katie Coombs thinks so. She recently wrote a column in my local paper entitled “I’d rather not be right.”

Katie feels that by if you choose to always ‘be right,’ then you risk the relationships that you have.  She commented that she would rather live in a world where people can make mistakes,…

I think most of us live two personas: The person and the professional. And, although both sides are often intertwined, I’m starting to find that, when it comes to conflict resolution, the two sides have an almost magnetic repulsion.

I have several clients who are in professions that require they be conflict resolution experts (social workers, HR managers, etc.), and, by all accounts, they’re doing an excellent job. However, when it comes to putting those…

Every good conversation starts with good listening.

My colleague Jill, who is an adjunct professor at the University of Nevada Reno in Communication Studies, gave me a wonderful “pearl” after coffee one day. She forwarded a copy of the HURIER Listening Profile to me so I could do a self-assessment of my listening skills.

Jill said it might be fun if I guessed how I will do before completing the form … which I did.

So, I thought that HURIER was…

If we REALLY want to talk about conflict resolution, then, I need to share with you my experience last week on my trip to Atlanta from Chicago.  O.K.–settle in.

It all started very benign. My family and I boarded our 1 1/2 hour flight to Atlanta with joy–vacation time! And, by all accounts, everything was going smoothly. Until…

During our descent into Atlanta, the pilot informed us we needed to go around some storms to avoid hitting them. No problem.…

I was reading a book the other day that I’ll tell you more about when I finish it, but in the meantime, I thought I would share some research it contained.

It had to do with the therapeutic action of writing. In the 1980s, a social psychologist named James Pennebaker, developed this form of writing therapy which posited that “writing one’s feelings gradually eases feelings of emotional trauma.”(1) …